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Baby Jokes 👶 in 2022

What did the baby in a band play?
-A guitar hooked up to a waaah! waaah! pedal

How did Batman decorate baby Robin’s crib?
-With a bat mobile.

A couple is having a baby soon.
After learning they’re having a boy, the husband says, “Let’s name him Pete!”
-But the wife says, “Honey, we’re having twins.”
The husband replies, “Well, we can call the second one RePete.”

how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl?
-a blender. how do you get them out? tortilla chips.

How does a baby ghost cry?
-“Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!”

A friend asked me if she should have a baby after 40
-I said no, 40 babies are enough.

I sat next to a baby on a 10-hour flight.
-I didn’t think it was possible for someone to cry for 10 hours straight.
Even the baby was impressed I pulled it off.

Where do baby cats learn to swim?
-The kitty pool.

How can you tell if a snake is a baby?
-It has a rattle.

Did you hear about the lady who traveled to the ocean to have her baby?
-She needed a sea section.

What do you call a new baby monkey?
-A chimp off the old block.

“I don’t always drink milk. But when I do, I prefer Dos Tetas.”
-The Most Interesting Baby in the World

What do you call a baby potato?
-A small fry.

How did the baby know she was ready to be born?
-She was running out of womb.

My baby just ate a bunch of scrabble tiles.
-The next diaper change could spell disaster.

Tell me, does the stork deliver babies with their diapers on?
-No, they’re stork naked!

Why do we dress babies in onesies?
-Because they can’t dress themselves.

Do I have to have a baby shower?
-Not if you change the baby’s diaper quickly.

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