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Brick jokes 🧱 in 2023

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
– A brick to the back of his head should do it.

A drug addict calls the police to report something interesting
The police officer, interested, asks. “What is it?”
The addict responds. “Okay, I-”
The officer interrupts, quickly making sure they’re not on drugs “You’re sober right now, right?”
“Yes, this happened when I was sober too.”
All seems okay to this point. “Okay, go on.”>
“I saw an Italian plumber bump his head on a brick and grow three times his size!”
The officer pauses for a moment and mumbles to himself. “It’s the mushrooms.”

Little Johnny is in class…
and his teacher says; ‘Whoever answers my question right, can go home’. Johnny takes a brick from his bag and throws it through the window. ‘Who did that?!?!’ the teacher yelled. ‘I did sir, can I go home now?’

Bricks are the happiest construction materials.
– They’re always getting laid.

What did the brick do after he was fired?
– Got a job in construction.
(Hopefully original am open to feedback)

I got T-boned by a construction delivery truck the other day.
– It came down like a ton of bricks.

I sexually identify as a brick.
– I’m always hard and I’ve only been laid once.

What does your mom and a brick have in common?
– They’ll both be getting laid by Mexicans later.

Why did the second-rate toy plastic brick maker become obsessed?
– Because he just couldn’t LEGO.

A father names has 3 daughters named Petal, Flower, and Brick
Petal asks “dad, why was I named Petal?”
He says a petal fell from out of nowhere and landed on her forehead right after she was born so he named her Petal.
Flower asks “so, dad why was I named Flower?”
He says a flower fell from out of nowhere and landed on her forehead as well right after she was born so he named her Flower.
Finally Brick asks “daaaa ahhhhh tthhhhhahhh!!”

What’s the difference between a Blonde and a brick?
– When you lay a brick, it won’t follow you around for weeks afterwards.

I think that the president and his cabinet listened to Pink Floyd
“We don’t need no education” -Devos
“All in all its just another brick in the wall” -Trump

My aunt has three daughters
– One day her three daughter run up to her mom and one of them yells
“mom!!! Why am I named rose?”
“Well sweetie, when you where born a rose pedal fell on your head”
The second daughter.
“Mommy!!!!!!!!! Why am I named violet?”
“Because when you where born a violet somehow fell on your head”
The third child.
“Djfiiiggf fiichd ajjguie fuuhsb?”
“Oh shut up brick”

The lion throws a huge birthday party. All the animals but one go. Which is it and why?
– The giraffe: he’s still in the refrigerator.

I don’t want to sound like I’m showing off or something, but people put bricks through my windows…
…just so they can hear me practicing my saxophone louder.

There was a father with three daughters…
– The first daughter came up to him and said, “Dad, why is my name daisy?”
He replies, “because when you were born a daisy fell on your head.”
The second daughter comes up to him and asks the same, “Dad, why is my name lily?”
“When you were born, a lily pad fell on your head.”
The third daughter walks up to him and says, “MAUUUNGUNNFFFAUUUUUUU!”
“Shut up Brick!”

Bricks have a frustrating sex life.
– They’re hard all the time, but only get laid once.

I had some ice cream recently that tasted of brick.
– Turned out it was Walls.

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