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Brick jokes 🧱 in 2022

A brick wall fell on a man.
– He was in mortar danger

Someone threw part of a brick through my front window. The police couldn’t do anything though
– They said there wasn’t enough concrete evidence

Two brick masons are laying a wall when suddenly one of the bricks start to talk..
– When the masons start to talk to the brick he seems just like a regular guy telling the masons about his ambitions to go and get a education, so that he’s not forgotten like the rest of his brethren. Then he asks the masons to go with him and get an education too so that they won’t have to do this hard work anymore. When they hear this they are taken aback saying that they’ll have to take the rest of the day off to make a decision.

Coming back the next day the masons find the brick and start talking to it and after a while the brick asks if they’ve made a decision and the masons reply that they’re sorry but “we dont need no education” and though they like him “all and all you’re just another brick in the wall.”

My wife has been keeping secrets from me.
– I just built a fence and put down some paving. Turns out not only is she a master carpenter she’s also an expert brick layer. If only I had known earlier I could have sought her advice before I did the work. It would have saved me from making all the obvious mistakes she pointed out after the work was done.

I threw a brick in the air and pondered what would happen…
… and then it hit me.

A mother had three kids called Drop, Feather, and Brick
A mother had three kids called Drop, Feather, and Brick.
Perplexed, the first kid asks his mother “Mom, why did you named me Drop?”
And she says: “Because when you were born, a little drop fell in your head…”
The second kid asks: “Mom, why did you named me Feather?”
She answers: “Because when you were born, a feather fell in your head…”
Finally, the third kid says: “GUhhhGaahh *loud noises* HUEHUE”
Sorry guys

Where did the builder buy his bricks from?
– Wall-mart.

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?
– Just two, but you’re going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

What happened to Vin Diesel when Dwayne Johnson pinned him against a brick wall?
– He found himself between The Rock and a hard place.

I was wondering why people keep telling me that juggling bricks is a bad idea.
– Then it hit me.

I’m a chameleon. Somehow wedged myself between a brick and a tree trunk.
– Brown to the left of me. Ochre to the right. Here I am stuck in a middle-ish hue.

A mother had three sons: Leaf, Feather and Brick.
Leaf came one day to his mom and said: “Mom, why did you call me Leaf?”
“Well son, “, replied his mom, “When you were born a leaf fell on your head and it was so cute and I couldn’t hold myself from naming you like that”.
Years passed and Feather came one day to his mom and said: “Mom, why did you call me Feather?”
“Well son, “, replied his mom, “When you were born a feather fell on your head and it was so cute and I couldn’t hold myself from naming you like that”.
More years passed and Brick came one day to his mom and said: [email protected][email protected]@qwrtn!

What is the difference between a dead hooker and a brick?
– I don’t have a brick floating in my pool.

I’m confused on what you need to enter a store or restaurant nowadays….
… is it a face mask or a brick?

How do you hire a horse?
– Put a brick under each foot.

My comrades were destroying the brick factory.
I said “Stop, we need the bricks!”
They replied, “That’s why we’re demolishing it.”

What’s heavier? 200kg bricks or 200kg feathers?
– The feathers of course.
200kg bricks it’s just some measure of bricks. But, if you want to lift 200kg feathers you need also handle what you’ve done to all these poor birds.

My ex girlfriend is a brick
– Flat on both sides and laid by hispanic men.

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