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Titanic jokes 💑🚢🧊🌊 in 2023

My Grandpa saw the Titanic
– From the very beginning, he warned everyone that the ship would sink. But nobody listen to him.

He was a brave man, he never gave up. He warn them again and again on many occasions… Until they kick him out from the cinema.

[Titanic, 1912]
**Captain:** what kind of lettuce do you want on your sandwich?

**First mate:** ICEBERG!

**Captain:** lol… no need to shout, Dave.

Did you know, after all these years
the pools on the Titanic are still full.

TITANIC
– Sorry that was a terrible ice breaker

The Sixth Sense and Titanic are the same movie.
– Icy dead people.

If Trump were captain of the RMs Titanic
Captain Trump of the RMS Titanic:

There isn’t any iceberg.
There was an iceberg but it’s in a totally different ocean.
The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon.
There is an iceberg but we didn’t hit the iceberg.
We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly.
The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg.
We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats.
Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them.
We don’t have any lifeboats, we’re not lifeboat distributors.
Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats.
I really don’t think we need that many lifeboats.
We have lifeboats and they’re supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers’ lifeboats.
The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship.
Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg.

A man is standing on the bow of the Titanic as it is sinking, holding a glass of whiskey.
He says: “I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous”

I just realized Titanic and the Sixth Sense are basically the same movie.
– Icy dead People!

What’s the difference between the Titanic and my ex?
– The titanic only went down on 1,000 people

My grandfather saw The Titanic and he warned everyone it would sink, but they all ignored him…
– Time and time again, he warned them, until they threw him out of the movie theatre.

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?
– Half-way

I remembered watching Titanic and bawled my eyes out.
– It’s because the painting scene with Rose was too short.

I heard the titanic got a new job…
She sells sea shells down by the sea floor.

I hear it’s a pretty high pressure job.

A Jewish man and a Chinese man are in a bar. Suddenly, the Jewish man punches the Chinese man in the face.
“Ow! Why did you do that?” asks he Chinese man.

“That’s for Pearl Harbor,” says the Jewish man.

“But the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. I’m Chinese!” says the Chinese man.

“Chinese, Japanese, what’s the difference?” asks the Jewish man.

So the Chinese man punches the Jewish man.

“Ow! What’s that for?” asks the Jewish man.

“It’s for the Titanic,” says the Chinese man.

“What? That was an iceberg that brought down the Titanic!” says the Jewish man.

“Iceberg, Goldberg, what’s the difference?”

A man is standing on the bow of the Titanic as it is sinking, holding a glass of whiskey.
– He says: “I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous”

Titanic jokes never get old.
– Just like Jack.

I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic.
– It’s syncing now.

What’s the difference between the Titanic and Kim Kardashian?
– The number of people who rode the Titanic is known.

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