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Pregnancy jokes 🤰👶 in 2023

What’s common between hide and seek, and an unintentional pregnancy?
– Ready or not, here I come!

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen knocked up?
– He forgot to wrap his whopper!

Will I love my dog less when the baby is born?
– No, but your husband might get on your nerves.

“My mother groaned, my father wept, into the dangerous world I leapt.”

Are you having a natural childbirth?
Why, yes — in that it’s completely natural to take drugs to alleviate excruciating pain!

Pregnant women afraid of What part of biology class?
– The sea section!

Don’t fear childbirth.
– That’s the easy part. They don’t give you drugs to get you through motherhood.

“I’m itchy everywhere, my ankles are fat and there’s something hanging out of my butt.”

“There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it.”

Should I have a baby after 35?
– No, 35 children are quite enough

I used to work on an assembly line making pregnancy pamphlets, but I quit.
– I got tired of labor manuals.

How does being pregnant make you feel?
– Like a superhero. Well, a really tired, weak superhero who wants to eat all the time and isn’t allowed to lift heavy objects.

You know you’re getting old when your friends start having kids on purpose.

“I just read that pregnant women in stressful jobs/home situations are more likely to carry female fetuses to term because male fetuses are less likely to survive that stress, and if that isn’t nature’s subtweet I don’t know what is.”

People are now giving birth underwater. They say it’s not very traumatic for the baby because it’s in water.
– But it’s certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

What part of biology class do pregnant women fear?
– The sea section.

Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
– Yes, your bladder.

“People always say that pregnant women have a glow. And I say it’s because you’re sweating to death.”

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