Pregnancy jokes 🤰👶 in 2022

What’s the weirdest stage of pregnancy?
– When people aren’t sure whether to congratulate you or hand you some Gas-X.

Telling the world you’re pregnant is like telling the world you had unprotected sex.

“I had this thing for Entenmann’s chocolate donuts. Somewhere during my pregnancy, I gained something like nine pounds in two weeks and my doctor was like, ‘You know what it might be? Are you drinking a lot of juice?’ I was like, ‘Yeah. That must be it.’ I was eating like a box a day of Entenmann’s donuts.” — Tina Fey

Do I need to have a baby shower?
– Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly!

What’s the weirdest stage of pregnancy?
– When people aren’t sure whether to congratulate you or hand you some Gas-X.

I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
– With any luck, right after he finishes college.

How to win an argument:
– (a) Be pregnant. (b) That’s it, you’re done!

“Can I just spray a little PAM down there right before the baby comes out?”

“I can smell electricity. I swear to God I can smell the TV.”

What hurts even more than childbirth?
– Having to sing “Wheels on the Bus” 20,000 times a day.

Did you know that your chances of becoming pregnant are hereditary?
– The chances are that if your parents didn’t get pregnant, you won’t either.

Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?
– Yes, but you’ll have an even better chance if he wears nothing at all.