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Octopus Jokes 🐙 in 2022

Why is the octopus such a good cook?
– Because he’s a chef-alopod!

I heard on the news that the police were looking for a runaway octopus
– They said he was armed and dangerous

What story do octopus parents read to their kids?…
– Octopuss in boots.

How does an octopus propose to its sweetheart?
– “I would like to ask for your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage.”

A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the Army.
– The octopus says no thanks I’m army enough as it is.

What do you get if you cross a cat with an octopus?
– Arrested under the Animal Scientific Procedures Act 1986.

What game do octopuses play at Hogwarts?
– Squiddich

What do you call a Mexican crossed with an octopus?
– I don’t know, but it sure can pick lettuce.

Where does an octopus go to sing?
– The choral reef!

What do humans and octopuses have in common?
– Two sets of forearms

What has 72 arms and catches flies?…
– An octopus baseball team.

What do you call a creature with the head of a shark, some claws, the body of a dolphin and the tentacles of an octopus?…
– A crab-omination!

How do you know if an octopus is alive?
– You check its octo-pulse!

What do you call a group of squid?
– A squad!

I saw a singing octopus once, in the choral reef.

What do u get when you cross a farm laborer with an octopus?…
– The best darn apple picker you’ve ever seen.

Why do octopuses love camping?…
– They sleep in tent-icles!

How does a squid propose to its sweetheart?
– “Will you cala-marry me?”

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