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Toe jokes 👣 in 2023

My insurance company paid for my Range Rover to be towed. When I told this to my father, he asked, “Why are they paying for your big toe?” and we couldn’t stop laughing!

What did you call a person who can draw the toes of different people with accuracy?
– A toe-pographer!

Why are Mike Tyson’s tiger’s toenails fascinating?
– Because they are in-growl-thing.

If a ring for a toe is a toe ring…
– Then shouldn’t a ring for a finger be a *fingering*

what does Michael Jackson saw when he stubs his toe?
– OW!

What do you call a man with only one toe and one knee?
– You can call him Tony.

The poet of our town had really long feet and toes. He was such a Longfellow!

The villainous toe had a pet bird of prey which he used as a weapon against other toes.
– It was his Toe-ma-hawk.

What’s the difference between a camera and a sock?
One takes photos –
– the other takes five toes.

My younger sister thought her TGIF shoes were an instruction manual that told her that the Toes Get In First.

My cousin got tattoos on all her toes. When we asked what they meant she said, “They are my new tat-toes!”

What is the name of the movie where all the toes are called back to the Toe Kingdom?
– The movie is called Toe-tal Recall!

I have a skin disease called psoriasis
– It really only flares up on my legs and feet and using dandruff shampoo helps clear it up or at least soften it. So I guess you could say I use head and shoulders for my knees and toes.

My mate Tom lost his two big toes in an accident. We now call him …
– Tomatoes

Why did the toe stop driving the toe truck?
– Because there was toe-rrential rain!

When all my friends started to talk about their toenails, I politely asked them to change the toe-pic!

What did the girl with no fingertips but just toe tips do?
– She tip-toed everywhere.

2 people dislocated my toe earlier
– It was a joint effort.

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