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Eye jokes 👁️👁️ in 2024

What was the movie they made on the life story of a man who couldn’t see properly since childhood?
– It was a myopic.

Where would you take one eye that is depressed?
– To a low vision center.

If a man holds a bee in his hand, what does he have in his eye?
– Bee-auty.

Why do eyeballs like to purchase and use new electronics?
– Probably because they are all very eye-tech.

Where do all the rabbits go every time they need their eyes checked? To the hop-ticians.

Why was the golfer crying his eyes out?
– He was going through a rough patch.

Did you hear that the police found the eye case hard to solve?
– Well, still, the police managed to close the lid on it.

How does it feel to wake up every morning?
– It’s an eye-opening experience.

Why should you never put any avocado in your eyes?
– It’s so that you don’t get the guac-oma.

What did the right eye say to the left eye?
– “Between you and me, there’s something that smells.”
A man goes to the optometrist for his eye test and is asked what he can see.
“I see empty airports, empty football fields, closed theaters, and closed pubs,” he says.
To which the optometrist replies, “Perfect — you’ve got 2020 vision!”

Guess who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor!
– >!Everybody!<

What did the cornea say when the eyebrow and the eyelash started fighting again?
– He said, “I retina this is going to go on for a while”.

What would you call an eye doctor who’s wearing a short shirt?
– She’d be a crop-toptometrist

What happens if you have the heart of the lion and the eye of the tiger?
– You’d get called to the circus.

What do you call a penguin with no eye?
– A penguin.

Have you heard about the optometrist that brought his daughter to a chamber?
– She made quite a spectacle of herself.

Why did the teacher decide to quit her job the other day?
– Probably because she was unable to control her pupils.

What device do eyes usually use to listen to music?
– They use eye-pods.

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