Eyes are often spoken of as the way to see who a person really is, and they are part of many figures of speech, included in many puns, and often commented on as one of the first things that is noticed about a person. Their position as a focus of attention makes them the root of nearly endless eye jokes.
What was the movie they made on the life story of a man who couldn’t see properly since childhood?
– It was a myopic.
What would you call a fish that didn’t have any eyes?
– A fsh.
What did the man who rents jokes to people say to his new customer?
– He said, “I’m retina cornea joke today. If you need something like that, eye cone lens you.”
Why did the teacher advise his students to wear glasses at math exams?
– Because he said that it would improve their di-vision.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
– Fishually impaired.
How did the optometrist-turned-politician do in her first election?
– She won by a lenslide.
What is the similarity between an optometrist and a teacher?
– They both love testing pupils.
How did the wonderful carpenter cut the piece of wood by looking at it?
– Well, he saw it with his eyes.
What would you call the eyeball who just got a pilot’s license?
– He’d be called the Sky Eye.
Why did the optometrist decide to go into real estate?
– She wanted to cornea the market.
What kind of game do all the frames love playing?
Why are eyes puns not puns?
– Because they’re optical allusions.
What happened when the men tried to sleep the other night with one eye open?
– They weren’t able to sleep a wink.
Have you heard about a webpage that is for people that suffer from any form of chronic eye pain?
– I guess that’s a site for sore eyes.
Why are E.T.’s eyes so big?
– He saw his phone bill.
Why did the mum decide to buy new glasses?
– Because she thought that it was the ideal eye deal.
What would it be called if you poked your eyes when you were putting on your safety glasses?
– It’d be eye-ronic.
Why did the eyeball decide to end his relationship with the elbow?
– Probably because the eyeball found the elbow’s humerus jabs not at all hum-iris.
Optometrists and their coworkers and colleagues are the topic of many top eye jokes. Their ability to work around eyes all day and ensure their health and safety makes them vital to society and people throughout the community, and they are often still the source of cheesy eye jokes. These are often created by those who are afraid of eye appointments or who are sensitive about anything touching their eye, who use corny eye jokes to reduce their stress and worry over these appointments.
Silly eye jokes about going to get an exam, to having the eye examined, or any portion of the exam are popular with parents easing the discomfort and fear of their children. Eye jokes for kids
about the puff of air into the eye or the pictures taken of the back of the eye can make the process feel less intimidating.
Glasses and Contacts
While many glasses jokes or glasses puns
are used by others to insult those who need glasses, there are some cute eye jokes about them that are not insulting in any way. Short eye jokes about why people may need glasses can remind kids that there are many others who also need them and that it isn’t a bad thing to wear glasses.
Corny eye jokes about them not being able to do their only job are sometimes shared by those who have gotten glasses or contacts and want to make their friends feel comfortable about it. Top eye jokes about contacts almost always involve a reference to poking the eye to put contacts in or out. These can help people to feel better about the process, or in some cases feel more nervous. Coloured contacts that allow people to change their eye colour or add special pupils for costumes or just for fun. These are often the root of hilarious eye jokes, as some of them look very different from the eyes before the contacts. It can attract jokes from friends and family, and especially around Halloween these specialty contacts become more popular and will draw the attention of others.
Eye Spy Jokes
Eye Spy is a kid’s game that is the source of many eye jokes for kids, but also is enjoyed by families on vacation and adults on road trips. Playing Eye Spy is a memory that most people have at some point, and it can make time pass more quickly when travelling. Games jokes and travelling jokes are sure to surface during these times as well, along with puns and figures of speech about people who are young at heart and enjoy childhood pastimes. The funniest eye jokes about the game are about how some people will see something easily while others will not notice it right away. This is also true for things that go missing at home.
One of the funniest eye jokes is rooted in the joke about mom being able to find things that no one else in the family can. There are several hilarious eye jokes and vision jokes about how people can stand right next to something they have lost and not see it, but their mom will be able to find it in moments. This is perhaps more about attention to detail and focus than it is eyes directly, but it is a funny story that is shared by many, and it seems to be a common occurrence. Why they are able to reach over and pick up things that no one else can find is unknown, and will forever be an unknown, but the ongoing jokes and comments are certain to bring amusement to families well into the future.
Jokes about eyes are common among those who work in the industry, who perform laser or other eye surgeries, who work with glasses and eye exams, and those who are planning to go into the industry. They are humour and bring a laugh to all who hear them, and can help people to share their sense of humour with those around them.