Eyes are often spoken of as the way to see who a person really is, and they are part of many figures of speech, included in many puns, and often commented on as one of the first things that is noticed about a person. Their position as a focus of attention makes them the root of nearly endless eye jokes.
What did the patient say when the optometrist asked him if he ever had his eyes checked out?
– The man said, “Not really. They have always been blue.”
Why are our eyes undoubtedly the most important part of the body?
– Probably because they always focus on what matters.
Who can help you with the case if you lose your glass eyeball?
– A P Eye.
What happens after you rub ketchup in your eyes?
– You feel silly in Heinz sight.
What do you call a pig three eyes?
– A piiig
Where can you always locate the eye?
– Exactly between H and J.
What happened when the man could see clearly after a long time?
– He was very ex-eye-ted to see.
What did the comedian who only tells bad eyes puns say?
– He said, “bad puns are they way eye roll.”
What did the snowman tell his son?
– He said, “I told you not to cross your eyes because they’d freeze that way.”
Why did the phone wear glasses?
– He’d lost all of his contacts.
What would you call a deer with no eyes?
– No eye deer.
Why did the phone start wearing glasses?
– Probably because he lost all his contacts.
What do the eyes use every time to communicate with each other?
– They use eye-phones.
Why do doctors say carrots are good for our eyes?
– That’s because nobody has ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
What did the optometrist tell the judge when he was in court?
– He said, “Iris my case.”
Have you heard about the man that got some salt in his eyes?
– Now it’s become see salt.
Why did the therapist suggest anger management to the eye?
– Because he told her, “Eyelash out whenever Eye’m mad.”
Optometrists and their coworkers and colleagues are the topic of many top eye jokes. Their ability to work around eyes all day and ensure their health and safety makes them vital to society and people throughout the community, and they are often still the source of cheesy eye jokes. These are often created by those who are afraid of eye appointments or who are sensitive about anything touching their eye, who use corny eye jokes to reduce their stress and worry over these appointments.
Silly eye jokes about going to get an exam, to having the eye examined, or any portion of the exam are popular with parents easing the discomfort and fear of their children. Eye jokes for kids
about the puff of air into the eye or the pictures taken of the back of the eye can make the process feel less intimidating.
Glasses and Contacts
While many glasses jokes or glasses puns
are used by others to insult those who need glasses, there are some cute eye jokes about them that are not insulting in any way. Short eye jokes about why people may need glasses can remind kids that there are many others who also need them and that it isn’t a bad thing to wear glasses.
Corny eye jokes about them not being able to do their only job are sometimes shared by those who have gotten glasses or contacts and want to make their friends feel comfortable about it. Top eye jokes about contacts almost always involve a reference to poking the eye to put contacts in or out. These can help people to feel better about the process, or in some cases feel more nervous. Coloured contacts that allow people to change their eye colour or add special pupils for costumes or just for fun. These are often the root of hilarious eye jokes, as some of them look very different from the eyes before the contacts. It can attract jokes from friends and family, and especially around Halloween these specialty contacts become more popular and will draw the attention of others.
Eye Spy Jokes
Eye Spy is a kid’s game that is the source of many eye jokes for kids, but also is enjoyed by families on vacation and adults on road trips. Playing Eye Spy is a memory that most people have at some point, and it can make time pass more quickly when travelling. Games jokes and travelling jokes are sure to surface during these times as well, along with puns and figures of speech about people who are young at heart and enjoy childhood pastimes. The funniest eye jokes about the game are about how some people will see something easily while others will not notice it right away. This is also true for things that go missing at home.
One of the funniest eye jokes is rooted in the joke about mom being able to find things that no one else in the family can. There are several hilarious eye jokes and vision jokes about how people can stand right next to something they have lost and not see it, but their mom will be able to find it in moments. This is perhaps more about attention to detail and focus than it is eyes directly, but it is a funny story that is shared by many, and it seems to be a common occurrence. Why they are able to reach over and pick up things that no one else can find is unknown, and will forever be an unknown, but the ongoing jokes and comments are certain to bring amusement to families well into the future.
Jokes about eyes are common among those who work in the industry, who perform laser or other eye surgeries, who work with glasses and eye exams, and those who are planning to go into the industry. They are humour and bring a laugh to all who hear them, and can help people to share their sense of humour with those around them.