Little Johnny jokes in 2023

Little Johnny: “I’m not going back to school ever again!”
– Mom: “Why not?”
– Little Johnny: “The teacher doesn’t know a thing, all she does is ask questions!”

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Little Johnny went up to his teacher and says: “Miss can I go to the toilet?”
– The Teacher then said: “Only if you say the alphabet, then you can go.”
– Little Johnny: Ok! ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ.
– Teacher: Well done but wheres the P?
– Little Johnny: Half way down my legs.

Teacher: It’s the fourth time you’re late for school this week Johnny! Do you know what that means?! –
– Little Johnny: That it’s Thursday, Miss Bramwell.

The teacher wrote on the blackboard: “I ain’t had no fun in months.”
– Then asked the class, “How should I correct this sentence?”
– Little Johnny raised his had and said, “Get yourself a girlfriend…”

Little Johnny says to grandpa..
– “Grandpa, make a noise like a frog.”
– Grandpa asks, “why?”
– “Cause daddy says we’ll make a lot of money when you croak.”

The teacher asked Little Johnny: “How can you prove the earth is round?”
– Little Johnny replied: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”

Teacher: “Little Johnny, you are late to class again.”
– Johnny: “But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn.”

Teacher: “What are you going to be when you get out of school?”
– Little Johnny: “An old man!”

Teacher: “How much is half of 8?”
– Little Johnny: “Up and down or across?”
– Teacher: “What do you mean?”
– Little Johnny: “Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!”

Teacher: “What are you going to be when you get out of school?”
– Little Johnny: “An old man!”

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
– “No,” said his mom, “of course not.”
– Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay, we can play that game again!”

Johnny asks his grandpa, “do you still have sex with granny?”
– Grandpa says, “Yes, but only oral.”
– Johnny asks, “What is oral?”
– Grandpa says, “I say fuck you, she says fuck you, too.”

Little Johnny: “I can’t go to school today.”
– Father: “Why not?”
– Little Johnny: “I don’t feel well.”
– Father: “Where you don’t feel well?”
– Little Johnny: “In school!”

Teacher: “Name two pronouns?”
– Little Johnny: “Who? Me?”

Teacher: “What can we do to stop water pollution?”

– Little Johnny: “Stop taking baths?”

Little Johnny asks his mum…
– “Mum, do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time in a faraway land’?”
– “No darling,” says his mother, somewhat distressed.“
– “Sometimes, they can begin with ‘I’ve got too much work in the office tonight, I’ll come home late.”

“And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?“ asks mother.
– “Come on mom, the most important thing is that I’m healthy!“