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Coronavirus Jokes ๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ’‰ in 2024

Knock Knock! Whoโ€™s there? Etch
-Ech Who? Bless You!

Back in my day, you would cough to cover up a fart.
-Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.

Being quarantined with a talkative childโ€ฆ
-is like having an insane parrot glued to your shoulder

Still no toilet paper in the stores.
-Theyโ€™re wiped out and youโ€™re shit out of luck.

Since weโ€™re all in quarantineโ€ฆ
– I guess weโ€™ll be making only inside jokes from now on.

โ€™ll tell you a coronavirus joke now,
-but youโ€™ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.

The quarantine has ruined many marriages but mine is still going strong.
-Just the other day I woke up to my beautiful and loving wife holding a pillow tightly over my face to protect me from the coronavirus.

Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves.
-Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.

Knock knock. Who is there?
-Seriously, donโ€™t touch my door and get back 6 meters to social distance.

You know being self quarantined isn’t even that boring
-But I am surprised that there are 7884 grains of rice in one pack, and 7892 in another.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
-Because the chicken behind it didnโ€™t know how to socially distance properly.

My quarantine routine is very simple.
-I wake up and go insane

Why donโ€™t chefs find coronavirus jokes funny?
-Theyโ€™re in bad taste.

Yeah, I have plans tonight.
-Iโ€™ll probably hit the living room around 8 or 9.

Day 121 at home and the dog is looking at me like,
-โ€œSee? This is why I chew the furniture!โ€

wanted to make a joke about how I got my fabulous quarantine physique
-But it didnโ€™t work out.

My mom always told me I wouldnโ€™t accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
-But look at me now, ma! Iโ€™m saving the world!

Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed.
-Itโ€™s about to get ugly out there.

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