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Morning Jokes 🌄 in 2024

Man looks at his friend and says “if you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt would you tell anyone?
– ” The friend says im a disgusted tone “No” So the man says “ok let’s go camping”

What would you call it if you accidentally pumped unleaded gas into your diesel vehicle’s tank one morning?
– A very fuelish mistake.

What would it be called if you woke up every day in the morning to the sound of zombies screaming?
– Dawn of the Dead.

I found I have been happier since I changed from coffee in the morning to orange juice.
– My doctor explained that it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars , but I really think it’s the Vodka

Knock! Knock!

– Who’s there?

– Hammond.

– Hammond who?

– Please, Hammond eggs for breakfast.

Which superhero delivers the morning papers?
– It’s Newspaperman.

What happened when the lawyer worried about his court case and forgot to use any coffee filter in the morning
– ? Well, after brewing, the coffee had quite a lot of grounds to appeal.

I had a fight with my erection this morning
– I beat it single handedly.

I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself…
– I really need to wash some mugs.

What do you call a radio that just works in the morning?
– An AM radio.

I just took a orange soda bath this morning the next i knew it turn out to be a river of orange kist.

What would you call it if you choke on your water when jogging every morning for a week?
– The worst ever running gag.

What is a barista’s everyday morning mantra?
– “Rise and grind.”

What time is it when you walk in to the wall ?
– Time to get to bed

Why did the man always cheat on his diet in the morning?
– Because he thought, at the end of the day, he’s staying faithful.

What would you say if your wife asked for eggs in the morning?
– “Yolk k.”

What did the cheerleader wake her mom up with for breakfast on Mother’s Day morning?
– Cheerios.

I looked out of my window this morning and saw my dad slumped over the lawnmower crying, I said to my mum “what’s wrong with dad?”
– “He’s going through a rough patch” she said…

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