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Chuck Norris jokes in 2021

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, โ€˜Two seconds till.โ€™
-After you ask, โ€˜Two seconds to what?โ€™ he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born,
-roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris beats rock, paper, scissors.
-Cannon balls, tanks, super destroyers, exploding stars โ€” I could go on.

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe.
– We werenโ€™t before his first space expedition.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
-he turns the dark off.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norrisโ€™ leg.
-After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters.
-Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn’t try to survive.
-The zombies do.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win.
– Forever.

Chuck Norris invented airplanes
-because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup,
-heโ€™s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris’s computer has no “backspace” button,
-Chuck Norris doesn’t make mistakes.

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