Chuck Norris jokes in 2021

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born,
-roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, β€˜Two seconds till.’
-After you ask, β€˜Two seconds to what?’ he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris beats rock, paper, scissors.
-Cannon balls, tanks, super destroyers, exploding stars β€” I could go on.

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe.
– We weren’t before his first space expedition.

Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful,
-it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
-he turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe,
-he holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack…
-even a heart isnt foolish enough to attack Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd,
-because no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger,
-by yelling, β€œBang!”

Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver…
-and wins.

In an average living room there are a thousand objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you,
– including the room itself.

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