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Penguin Jokes 🐧 in 2024

I had a latte with a penguin the other day.
– He said he would have preferred a fish…

Why do penguins always carry fish in their beak?
– Because they haven’t got any pockets.

How do you properly identify a dogwood tree?
-By the bark!

What do you get when you cross a penguin and an alligator?
– (I don’t know, but don’t try to fix its bow tie!)

Why are penguins good racing car drivers?
-Because they are always in pole position.

What is a penguin’s favourite party game?
-Sardines.

Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
-(The outside!)

What was the name of the emperor’s penguin?
– Julius Freezerrr.

When I become a lawyer I want to defend a penguin.
– Just so I can say the words “Your Honor, clearly my client is not a flight risk.”

What does penguin who does magic say to his audience?
– Pick a cod, any cod.

Why don’t you see any penguins in Britain?
-Because they’re afraid of Wales.

A horse, a dog, and a penguin walk into a bar
-Bartender: What are we even paying the bouncer for?

Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
-(Because they don’t have any pockets!)

What does a penguin eat on its birthday?
– Fish cakes!

How do penguins know when there’s something wrong?
– It smells a bit fishy.

What’s black, white and red all over?
– (A penguin with a sunburn!)

Why was the penguin so popular?
– Well, he was an ice guy!

Why do penguins never get married?
-They always get cold feet

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