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Insurance jokes 📋 in 2022

What insurance company is spread across the entire country?
– Allstate.

The tourist was given a full payment for the damages endured during his trip!
– Well, these Travelers have got everything covered!

My sister decided to buy a couple of insurances on her 45th birthday.
– The insurances were expensive and not needed, I guess she’s going through a MetLife crisis!

What did Fleetwood Mac get insurance for?
– They got it for landslides.

What insurance company should one go for if they ever get into any car accident in Machu Picchu?
– Peru-dential.

How do agents traditionally greet each other?
– “Hi. Nice to meet you. I´m better than you.”

Hardly use my DeLorean, and the insurance quote was huge even though I told them I only drive it from time to time.

What did the man reply when the insurance salesman asked, “Sir, you said you were born in the USA. Which part?”
– The man replied, “Why, my entire body, my man”.

My application for tornado insurance on my campsite got constantly rejected.
– The authorities told me that if the tent gets blown away then the campsite won’t be covered!

The fisherman was angry when his fishing boat capsized and the fish swam away.
– To add to his rues, the insurance agency refused payment claiming it was an act of cod!

What did the life insurance salesman say to the woman after describing his policy?
– “Call me tomorrow if you wake up!”

Last week I bought a retirement policy.
– All I´ve got to do is keep up the payments for 15 years and my agent can retire.

An insurance agent went to a museum and he accidentally hit a statue.
– Museum Administrator: “That’s a 500-year-old statue you’ve broken!”
– Insurance agent: “Thank God! I thought it was a new one.”

What’s the similarity between a raincoat and insurance?
– It’s that you’re never really covered as much as you think.

What would be a perfect name for an insurance company that caters to flower businesses?
– ‘Oopsie Daisies’.

The orange refused to get insurances made on his car because he possessed the powers of anti-accidents forever and more!

My pet mouse wasn’t able to insure his car. Apparently they don’t provide road dent insurance.

What did God say after creating actuaries?
– He said “Go figure!” while scratching his head. I guess they took it literally.

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