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Insurance jokes 📋 in 2024

What did the man reply when the insurance salesman asked, “Sir, you said you were born in the USA. Which part?”
– The man replied, “Why, my entire body, my man”.

My application for tornado insurance on my campsite got constantly rejected.
– The authorities told me that if the tent gets blown away then the campsite won’t be covered!

The fisherman was angry when his fishing boat capsized and the fish swam away.
– To add to his rues, the insurance agency refused payment claiming it was an act of cod!

What did the life insurance salesman say to the woman after describing his policy?
– “Call me tomorrow if you wake up!”

Last week I bought a retirement policy.
– All I´ve got to do is keep up the payments for 15 years and my agent can retire.

An insurance agent went to a museum and he accidentally hit a statue.
– Museum Administrator: “That’s a 500-year-old statue you’ve broken!”
– Insurance agent: “Thank God! I thought it was a new one.”

What’s the similarity between a raincoat and insurance?
– It’s that you’re never really covered as much as you think.

What would be a perfect name for an insurance company that caters to flower businesses?
– ‘Oopsie Daisies’.

The orange refused to get insurances made on his car because he possessed the powers of anti-accidents forever and more!

My pet mouse wasn’t able to insure his car. Apparently they don’t provide road dent insurance.

What did God say after creating actuaries?
– He said “Go figure!” while scratching his head. I guess they took it literally.

A man with a million-dollar umbrella policy was so reckless that he forgot to include his vintage umbrella in the policy!

I don’t want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is:
– when I go, they go too.

What is the perfect name for a life insurance salesman?
– Justin Case.

I bought some new glasses for $120 and after insurance, it became $145.
– My friend said, “Well, that’s gross”.

The flood policy caught everyone’s eye in the newspaper.
– They were literally flooding all the lines!

What kind of insurance would transformers need?
– Life insurance and car insurance.

What did the doctor tell the chocolate after looking at his insurance policies?
– He said, “Laughter is the very best medicine, but seems that your insurance only covers Snickers and Laffy taffy.”

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