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Insurance jokes 📋 in 2022

Why don’t the salmons need any health insurance?
– That’s because they all get cured for free.

What did God say when he created actuaries? He scratched his head and said, “Go figure!”
– They took it literally.

One day, my family and I went to the picnic and a black bear was spotted roaming near our car. I asked my dad if the car insurance policy covered bear attacks.
– He just said, “No, I have bear minimum insurance”.

What happened when an insurance salesman and her husband were driving to a friend’s house and suddenly the brakes failed?
– The insurance agent told the husband, “Brace yourself and try to maybe hit something cheap.”

I bought a new life insurance policy but the small print is impossible to understand. All I´m sure of is that after I die, I can stop paying.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.

Why was the insurance company refusing to pay after lightning struck the church?
– Because they said it was an act of God, therefore, deliberate destruction by the owner.

Yesterday a life insurance salesman was sitting beside me at the Death Metal concert.
– Yes, and through it all, he offered me cover and protection.

My sister told me that she was skeptical about vision insurance.
– I told her to at least look into it!

What do sheet metal ducts care about the most when it comes to insurance?
– The deductible.

The rat went to his insurance salesman to get his car’s insurance.
– He opted to take the road dent insurance!

Two women are playing golf when one of them ask the other, “Do you and your husband have mutual climax?”
– The other woman replies, “No, I think we have State Farm.”

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