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Hillbilly jokes in 2023

What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
– The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

[OFFENSIVE] How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw…

(Heard this one the other day from a friend, and thought I might share it here. :P)

What does a hillbilly girl say during sex?
– Get off me daddy, you’re crushing my cigarettes

A plane from J.F.K. is coming in to land at a rural airport in Arkansas at midnight.
Mouthy pilot turns to his co-pilot, winks & says “watch this”……
“Pilot to control tower……hey there Hillbilly, guess who!!”
Control tower switches off the airport lights…..
“Control tower to pilot……. Hey there Yankee, guess *where!!*”

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
– Ask a redneck!

Two hillbilly sisters are fighting about who is better
They ask their dad.
“Daddy who’s your favorite daughter?”
The father looks at both of them, “Your mother.”

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck?
– Anyone else would have called it a “teethbrush”

Someone explain this joke to me?
– A nice young hillbilly couple decided to get married. Their parents wanted to give them the best wedding ever, so they reserved the nicest hotel in town. Everything was perfect. After the wedding the newlyweds went to the front desk to check in. The desk clerk asked,”Bridal” and the new husband said “Na, I’ll just hold her by the ears till she gets used to it”.

Two hillbillies were sipping shine on the front porch
When a truck went passed loaded up with rolls of sod.

I’m a-gonna do that when I win that there lottery announced hillbilly #1.

Do wuuuut? Asked hillbilly #2.

Send my lawn out to git mowed.

What do a hillbilly and a nepotist blackberry executive have in common?
– They both give their relatives rim jobs.

Why do rednecks drive old pick up trucks?
– So they can park in handicap spaces

[OFFENSIVE] How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw…

(Heard this one the other day from a friend, and thought I might share it here. :P)

A hillbilly girl tells her guy How about we try reverse cowgirl tonight?
– He replies Hey! You never turn your back on family.

What do you call a redneck bursting into flames?
– A Fire Cracker

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
– You kick his sister in the chin

Coming Back as a Hillbilly
Q. What do you call it when you die and come back as a hillbilly?
A. Reintarnation

What do you call a hillbilly after he is all grown up?
– A mountain goat of course!

Why do ducks fly over Arlington upside down?
– There’s nothing worth craping on

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