Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Heart jokes ❤️ in 2022

Why was the ghost scared of coming out in the light?
– He did not have the heart to do it.

Why would the Backstreet Boys turn out to be terrible cardiologists?
– Because they will say that whatever you have is nothing but a heart-ache.

A fortune teller told me I’d suffer awful heart break in 12 years.
– To cheer myself up I bought a puppy.

The double quarter pounder with cheese from McDonald’s holds a special place in my heart.
– Mainly in the Coronary artery.

How can you tell when your heart is ready for a big game?
– It’s really pumped up.

What do you call an attack on an organ donation bank?
– A heart attack!

Why didn’t Daisy pay rent to live with her boyfriend?
– Because she lived in his heart.

My uncle has the heart of a lion, the eyes of a hawk, and the legs of a cheetah
– He’s also a trained taxidermist

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken tothe hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
– Seeing God she asked “Is my time up? ”

God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and8 days to live.”
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded,
“I thought yousaid I had another 43 years.
Why didn’t you pull me fromout of the path of the ambulance?”

Why did Gary send pictures of his heart X-ray to his girlfriend every month?
– He wanted to show that his heart is in the right place.

What did the cardiac surgeon say when he knew that the transplanted organ reached his home instead of the hospital?
– Home is where the heart is.

Sometimes someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race and changes your life forever.
– We call these people cops.

I had heart palpitations, sweating and aches on the day of my first Covid-19 Vaccine
– But once I got in and actually had the jab I was fine!

What did Cupid say the day before Valentine’s Day?
– I can heartly wait.

When the heart was found guilty of stealing, what did the heart police do?
– They went for a cardiac arrest.

After the bypass surgery, which movie would be a cardiologist tell her patient to watch?
– Braveheart.

The best way to a man’s heart is through the stomach
– And up past the ribcage.

Why are zombies great chefs?
– They can REALLY put their heart into things

Most Popular Categories

All Categories v

  • Submit a joke
  • Follow us on Facebook