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Anniversary jokes 💝🥂 in 2024

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

I asked my wife if she’d like a new Diamond Ring to celebrate our anniversary.
“Nothing would make me happier!” She replied.
– So I got her nothing.

Our anniversary is coming up, so my wife told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it.
– She’s going to love this pack of playing cards.

A couple met online and got married; they just clicked.

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

My wife is blaming me for ruining our Anniversary
– Which is ridiculous, cause I didn’t know it was our Anniversary in the first place

How many people does it take to celebrate an anniversary in Reddit?
– Dozens

Just listen up while I tell you about this couple, and I’ll make it seem like the shortest 45 minutes of your life

My wife asked for something shiny that goes from 0 – 200 in five seconds or less for our anniversary.
– I bought her a scale.
– We’re still not speaking.

What is the penalty for bigamy?
– Two mothers-in-law.

Bought my wife a clock for our anniversary
– Because, there’s no present , like the time.

Many years ago, two antennas got married.
– People say the marriage ceremony was fine, but the reception was fantastic.

Today is the anniversary of the Diet of Worms
– Another weight loss fad

My buddy said, “It’s me and my wife’s tenth wedding anniversary next weekend, so I thought we could go somewhere really nice together.”
– I replied, “Sounds good to me! What’re you going to tell your wife though?”

I bought my wife and I Walkie-Talkies for our anniversary but I can’t tell if she likes them.
– Wife: “We don’t need Walkie-Talkies, this marriage is over.”
– Me: “This marriage is what? Over.”

What gift the spider wife wanted from her husband after 50 years of togetherness?
– A new webbing ring.

What happened to the archeologist couple’s marriage?
– The older they got, the more interesting it became!

A Japanese man respectfully asked his wife to cook a special anniversary meal according to their tradition, and sushi did!

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