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Anniversary jokes 💝🥂 in 2023

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

The physicist gifted his wife joule-ry on their anniversary.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one.
– The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

It was mine and my wife’s 25th wedding anniversary the other day and she said to me “Did you know i wore this on our first date and it still fits me”…
– I said “Its a scarf”…

I asked my wife what gift she wanted for our anniversary.
– She said, anything. So, I got her a refrigerator because I wanted to see her face light up.

Why couldn’t the vampire see his wife on the day of the wedding?
– Because an open casket ceremony is much costlier.

Wife: “You always get the worst anniversary gifts.”
– Husband: “You didn’t say over. Over.”

Wedding anniversary gifts can be pricey: 5 year celebration gift is Silverware, 15 years are Rubies and Pearls are 30. Now, at 31 years there is finally one I can get behind,
– we’re going to Baskin-Robbins.

What did the man say to his wrestler wife while gifting her a bouquet of her favorite flowers on their anniversary?
– I admire your rose-ilience.

How do you remember your wedding anniversary?
– Forget it once.

My wife says I can join your gang but I have to be home by 9.

What do you call when two spiders marry each other?
– Newly-webs!

My wife is blaming me for ruining our Anniversary
– Which is ridiculous, cause I didn’t know it was our Anniversary in the first place

How many people does it take to celebrate an anniversary in Reddit?
– Dozens

Why did the bee decide to get married?
– Because he found his honey.

The deer couple held an event to celebrate five years of deer-votion.

My head chef had his 10 year anniversary in work today. I put some salt and pepper on him.
– He’s a seasoned professional

Why did the man give his wife a picture of him in pistachio?
– Because that was him in a nutshell.

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