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Swimming jokes 🏊🤿 in 2022

What is yellow and can’t swim?
– A school bus.

How do swimmers clean themselves?
– They wash up on shore!

Why did the Egyptian go swimming as soon as his mom passed away?
– De Nile is the first stage of grief

A woman walked up to me at the swimming pool and said she could see something bulging in my Speedos.
When I looked down at my crotch she said, “No, the other side…”

How do you get 127 Canadians out of a swimming pool?
– You say “hey everyone it’s time to get out of the pool now”

The swimming pool on Titanic
– Is still full

A man calls over a waiter during his meal ‘There is a fly swimming in my soup!’
– ‘Look on the bright side Sir’ replied the waiter ‘If the portions weren’t so generous he’d be wading’

You should eat your pasta if you want to swim fasta.

The best insect swimmer is the butterfly, obviously!

What do you call a dog who can’t swim?
– A land rover

Kylie Jenner tries to go into the ocean for a swim but gets stopped by the life guard
The life guard says “U can’t go in there,
There’s already enough plastic in the sea”

What did the fish say after swimming into a cement wall?
– Damn.

They call someone who wears boxer shorts a boxer, they call someone who wears swim shorts a swimmer, but what do you call someone who doesn’t wear any shorts at all?
– A swinger.

What has two knees and swims?
– A two-knee fish.

My life splashed before my eyes when I realized, after jumping off the side, that the pool was not deep enough for diving.

What do you do if king kong comes through your window?
– Start swimming

Where do fish keep their money?
– In river-banks!

Casper likes to go swimming, but only in Lake Eerie.

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