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Real estate jokes 🏡🏡 in 2023

What does a British real estate agent care most about?
– His proper tea.

All periodic table elements were hired by the real estate company
-because they have lots of properties!

How do you know the line of your property?
– You see where your realtor neighbor tends his grass!

I started to get really worried about climate change when I was house shopping and my real estate agent used the phrase:
– “Potential Water Front Property”

An armed man ran into a real estate agency and shouted…
– “Nobody move!”

Which genre of music do realtors love listening to the most?
– House music.

Al always carries a video camera to get the accurate square footage!

Why is it unsafe to trust real estate developers?
– Because they are up to new schemes and plots!

What’s a real estate agents favorite song?
– For lease navidad

I tried bidding on a shopping center in a real estate auction, but someone outbid me at the last minute. I guess the old saying is true…
– You can’t win a mall.

Why do real estate agents love Thanksgiving so much?
– They have “lots” to be grateful for.

What did the realtor say to his daughter who topped class?
– “Just like an agreement bond, your marks are flawless”.

What did the manager say to the realtor who kept forgetting to sign the agreement?
– He said, “Just do the deed”.

My Irish friend Paddy just told me that he robbed a shop last night.
“What did you get?” I asked.

“26 pictures,” he smiled, showing me. “The cheapest one is worth over $180,000.”

I said, “Dude, these are from an real estate agents.”

I have no problem with listings with finished basements.
– They’re my best cellars!

Thor decided to pursue his career in real estate. He’s going to be real-thor!

Why will you never see a realtor reading books?
– Because books only have page numbers!

I hear it’s a good time to buy real estate in Texas!
– The housing market is flooded.

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