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Real estate jokes 🏡🏡 in 2022

How do you make a million dollars in real estate?
– You start out with two million.

What did the real estate agent do when her buyer was on a budget?
– She asked the listing agent what would be the condominimum offer the owner would take.

What did the real estate agent say to the lady at the bar? “Ma’am, is your name FHA loan?
– Because you have most certainly caught my interest”.

What did the senior agent who grew up in the bay area advise his juniors?
– “10% of the money is made by your schemes, but 90% is made by catching giant waves”.

What’s the difference between Hallmark movies and Scooby-Doo?
– One has formulaic plots, two-dimensional characters, and bad guys trying to close some kind of real estate deal, and the other has a talking dog in it.

Why is it a bad idea to pick a fight with a real estate agent?
– They can flip houses whenever they want!

The French real estate agent was very upset when their new listing was destroyed.
– He said it was chateau-strophic!

Why did the agent say he was hunting for castles?
– He meant it as a manor of speaking!

Why did the Egyptian realtor always say he was on his land?
– It turned out he was in de-nile!

What does a british real estate agent care most about?
– His proper tea

The real estate in my neighborhood has become so expensive that only cats can afford it.
– You need nine lives to pay it off.

I decided on building a board game company where one can buy real estate. But it turns out that only Hasbro has the absolute monopoly!

Which genre of music do realtors love listening to the most?
– House music!

Robber runs into a real estate agents office and shouts
– Nobody move

My realtor promised to give me a free abacus if he could close the deal.
– I’m unsure whether to count on it or not.

Why did the mortgage broker always eat lunch by himself?
– He was a loaner.

What did the realtor say to his wife?
– “Speaking with you felt like buying a house for the first time – thrilling and nervous”.

What compliment did the realtor give his wife?
– He said that she deserves all the props in life!

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