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Vegan Jokes 🥗 in 2024

Being Vegan gives you a superpower
-The power to annoy all of your friends.

What do vegans get at a barbecue restaurant?
-Kicked out.

How long does it take a vegan to finish a hamburger?
-5 seconds depending on if anybody is watching the dog.

How can you tell if someone is vegan?
-Don’t worry. When you offer them meat, they will say ‘no thanks’, then you can relentlessly ask them questions why, then you can get upset and accuse them of going on about it.

AITA for mixing up orders and serving a vegan customer a meat sandwich?
-Oops wrong sub

How many vegans does it take to eat a bacon double cheeseburger?
-Only one if nobody is looking.

A vegan enters a restaurant and asks the waiter for advice what to order.
-“A taxi.”

What’s the number one rule of Vegan Fight Club?
-Tell everybody

What do vegan zombies eat?
-GRAAAAAINS…

What’s the difference between being vegan and having Covid 19?
-With Covid the loss of taste is only temporary…

A kid get in trouble and as punishment is made to wear an “I am a Vegan!” t-shirt for the day. It is a horrible experience and they get called all sorts of names and things are thrown at them and they are even kicked a few times..
-All that before they even left the house!

I could never go vegan!
– Said almost every person (before going vegan)

So I put my dog on a vegan diet
-Don’t worry, I only feed him the finest vegans I can find

What’s the hardest thing about being a vegan that CrossFits?
-Trying to decide which one to tell people about first.

A vegan activist walks into a bar.
-I only knew he was a vegan activist because he told everyone within two minutes.

How do you know if someone is Vegan?
-Don’t worry. They’ll tell you.

What is a vegan Viking called?
-A Norvegan

How many vegetarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-I don’t know, but where do you get your protein?

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