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Vegan Jokes 🥗 in 2024

Being Vegan gives you a superpower
-The power to annoy all of your friends.

What do vegans get at a barbecue restaurant?
-Kicked out.

How long does it take a vegan to finish a hamburger?
-5 seconds depending on if anybody is watching the dog.

How can you tell if someone is vegan?
-Don’t worry. When you offer them meat, they will say ‘no thanks’, then you can relentlessly ask them questions why, then you can get upset and accuse them of going on about it.

AITA for mixing up orders and serving a vegan customer a meat sandwich?
-Oops wrong sub

How many vegans does it take to eat a bacon double cheeseburger?
-Only one if nobody is looking.

A vegan enters a restaurant and asks the waiter for advice what to order.
-“A taxi.”

What’s the number one rule of Vegan Fight Club?
-Tell everybody

What do vegan zombies eat?

I put my Dobermans on a vegan diet and I’m worried about their nutrition.
-Between the five of them, they’re getting through a vegan a week – am I overfeeding them?

If ever society collapses and we resort to cannibalism…
-Vegans meat will be the most expensive because they’re grass fed.

How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
-No idea. But where do you get your protein?

Annoying a vegan…
-…is like shooting fish in a barrel. Which annoys them even more

I am a Social Vegan
-Because I avoid Meet

An argument between two vegetarians is not called beef.
-Just two people with bad tempehs.

Vegans never have arguments between them.
-Cause they dont want any kind of beef.

How do you tell a vegan to be quiet?

I hadn’t seen my grandma for a long time, she looked so different from the last time I’d seen her. She told me that she had become a vegan for a few months now.
-She had changed so much since she became a vegan. It was like I’d never seen herbivore.

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