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Vegan Jokes 🥗 in 2023

Being Vegan gives you a superpower
-The power to annoy all of your friends.

What do vegans get at a barbecue restaurant?
-Kicked out.

How long does it take a vegan to finish a hamburger?
-5 seconds depending on if anybody is watching the dog.

How can you tell if someone is vegan?
-Don’t worry. When you offer them meat, they will say ‘no thanks’, then you can relentlessly ask them questions why, then you can get upset and accuse them of going on about it.

What’s the number one rule of Vegan Fight Club?
-Tell everybody

What do vegan zombies eat?
-GRAAAAAINS…

AITA for mixing up orders and serving a vegan customer a meat sandwich?
-Oops wrong sub

How many vegans does it take to eat a bacon double cheeseburger?
-Only one if nobody is looking.

A vegan enters a restaurant and asks the waiter for advice what to order.
-“A taxi.”

Vegan joke
-A friend of mine, Hunter, came out as Vegan.

He left our friend group after we started calling him gatherer.

People keeping telling me that, to stay healthy, I should “Eat Vegan”
-The trouble is, when you do, you find there is no meat on them.

I blame the lousy diet.

The quickest way to become a nutritionist?
-Talk to a vegan. Suddenly everyone becomes an expert on food when they meet a vegan.

This vegan girl said she knew me from somewhere
-I told her I never met herbivore

My dog is vegan but he is kind of a hypocrite about it.
-He has a fur coat that he always wears.

If two vegetarians are arguing,
– is it still called Beef?

At the urging of some friends I tried eating vegan for a week
-It was awful! I couldn’t catch a single one. They’re quick!

What do vegans say before a fight
– I’m gonna give you a beet down

Vegans
-A t-Rex met a vegan one day who claimed that she knew the Rex, but he never met herbivore.

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