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Periodic table jokes 🧪⚗️🧑‍🔬☣ in 2023

What’s another name for the Periodic Table of elements?
– The atoms family.

How do you track the reproductive cycle of pachyderms?
– With the Periodic Table of Elephants.

The police thought that something was cooking in the Chemist’s lab. They wanted to radon the lab.

When Gold was kicked out of the periodic table, the other elements said, “Au revoir!”.

A teacher asks their class what the molecular formula for water is. A student replies, “HijklmnO”. The teacher says, “No you’re wrong”. Then the student says, “Didn’t you say the formula was H to O?”.

My favourite element in the periodic table is ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQSTUVWXYZ
– Or, as it’s also known, R gone

There was once a time period where musicians never made any money….
– During the Baroque period.

Two guys walk into a bar. One of them says “I would like some H2O.” The other guy says “I would like some H2O too (H2O2).” Only one of them leaves the bar alive. (H2O is water, while H2O2 is the molecular formula for hydrogen peroxide, which will kill you if you drink it.)

Knock Knock, Who’s There? Beryl. Beryl who?
– Beryl and Lium.

Where do you put dirty dishes?
– In the zinc.

The periodic table just got one block smaller
– Scientists now say Plutonium is not a real element

I earn a living by selling fur, I guess you could say I Sulfur.

I don’t hate ALL of the periodic table, just elements of it.

Are you made of copper and tellurium??
– Because you’re pretty CuTe!

What did one charged atom say to the other?
– “I’ve got my ion you.”

I didn’t study for chemistry
– My chem teacher once asked me what S was on the periodic table, and I didn’t know so I said “the element of Surprise,” apparently he was surprised with my answer.

If Seth Rogen starts a new Monday night TV show about scienc, it would be called Night-Rogen.

You must be ethidium bromide because I’m tangled in your double helix.

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