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One liner jokes in 2021

y drug test came back negative.
-My dealer sure has some explaining to do.

My Dad always knew I was going to be a comedian.
-When I was a baby he said, ‘Is this a joke?’

My drug test came back negative.
-My dealer sure has some explaining to do.

I once saw two people wrapped in a barcode and had to ask
-โ€œare you an item?

When you look like I do,
-itโ€™s hard to get a table for one at chuckee cheese.

Just burned 2,000 calories.
-Thatโ€™s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

The people voting for the Oscars are so old.
-I havenโ€™t seen one Academy Award voter with a tampon in her purse.

It became so cold in New York last nightโ€ฆ
-that it forced the flashers to describe themselves to people.

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.
-I had to put my foot down.

My father is schizophrenia,
-but heโ€™s good people.

I ate a clock yesterday.
-It was very time-consuming.

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
-Weโ€™ll see about that.

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