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Coding jokes 👨‍💻 in 2022

“I just saw my life flash before my eyes and all I could see was a close tag…”

Why are Assembly programmers always soaking wet?

– They work below C-level.

What programming language do they use in Star Wars?
– JawaScript

The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.
– The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: “Can’t you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!”
– The boy replies back: “Darling, I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings, we only worry about errors.”

How many software testers does it take to change a light bulb?
– None. “We just recognized darkness, fixing it is someone else’s problem.”

GF: All you ever talk about is Programming Jokes! I am sick of it! It’s me or your Programming Jokes!
– Me: You meant to say it’s you XOR my Programming Jokes.
– GF: I am leaving you.

So I took a programming elective in school
– My final grade was C+

A buddy and I are in the same programming class
– My friend starts writing down a note

– I look at it

– He says “Hay! That note is private”

– I respond “But we are in the same class”

Thou shalt not handle errors.
– Error handing was meant for error prone people, neither you or your users are error prone

There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don’t.

99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, 1 bug fixed… compile again.
– 100 little bugs in the code.

If my wife thinks I’m obsessed with programming, she’s crazy.
– Endif

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