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Coding jokes 👨‍💻 in 2022

Have you heard about the new Cray super computer?
– It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.

Why did the programmer quit his job?

– Because he didn’t get arrays.

I asked the librarian for level 5 programming books.
– Instead he gave me some programming 101 book. I don’t why.

If you can pick it up, it’s a PC.
– If you can’t pick it up but you can push it over, it’s a minicomputer.
– But when you can’t pick it up or knock it over, it’s a mainframe.

Demo-oriented programming: A programming style, typically used by startups, focusing on the demo of the program being developed, so it will easily catch the prospective investor.

Girl: Do you drink?
– Programmer: No.
– Girl: Have Girlfriend?
– Programmer: No.
– Girl: Then how do you enjoy life?
– Programmer: I am Programmer

What is the most commonly used computer programming language?
– Profanity.

What kind of programming do trans robots have?
– Non-Binary

Thou shalt not worry about bugs.
– Bugs in your software are actually special features.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
– None – It’s a hardware problem

0 is false and 1 is true, right?
– 1

I turned in my programming assignment
– Which came out to say “Hello world!”. I received a C+. I walked up to my professor and said, “Actually, this is C++”.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
– The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Have you heard about the new Cray super computer?
– It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

What did the Java code say to the C code?

– You’ve got no class.

Teacher: “How would you describe your level of programming?”
– Students: “Low”

– Teacher: “Ok, fine, you can write programs in assembler then”

Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting “F1 F1” and nobody understood it.

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