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Coding jokes 👨‍💻 in 2023

“Knock, knock.”
– “Who’s there?”
– very long pause….
– “Java.”

In Canadian hexadecimal, why is 6 afraid of 7?
– Because 7 8 9 A?

2 interviewers are interviewing a candidate for a programming job.
– Interviewer 1: Well are you ready for some DP now?

– Candidate: Stands up and begins to pull down pants.

– Interviewer 2: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

– Candidate: You asked if I was ready for Double Penetration.(DP)

– Both Interviewers: We meant Dynamic Programming!!!

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
– Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

The determined programmer can write a COBOL program in any language.

Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”

– The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”

– “Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”

Why did the database administrator leave his wife?

– She had one-to-many relationships

Why are blind people so bad at programming?
– They can’t C.

Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?
– Because it is below C level.

How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
– Seventy two. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle …

Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
– The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

I’m so good at programming I don’t even need to test before I ship code.
– Sent my program last week and haven’t heard of any problems since!

A programmer is a person who fixes a problem you don’t know you have in a way that you don’t understand.

Thou shalt not provide help.
– If your users can not figure out themselves how to use your software than they are too dumb to deserve the benefits of your software anyway.

Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.

Why did the programmer quit his job?
– Because he did not get arrays.

Programming jokes are fun…
– … but only when executed properly.

How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
– Give him a bottle of shampoo which says “lather, rinse, repeat.”

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