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Coding jokes 👨‍💻 in 2024

In Canadian hexadecimal, why is 6 afraid of 7?
– Because 7 8 9 A?

2 interviewers are interviewing a candidate for a programming job.
– Interviewer 1: Well are you ready for some DP now?

– Candidate: Stands up and begins to pull down pants.

– Interviewer 2: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

– Candidate: You asked if I was ready for Double Penetration.(DP)

– Both Interviewers: We meant Dynamic Programming!!!

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
– Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

The determined programmer can write a COBOL program in any language.

“Knock, knock.”
– “Who’s there?”
– very long pause….
– “Java.”

Why did the database administrator leave his wife?

– She had one-to-many relationships

Why are blind people so bad at programming?
– They can’t C.

Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?
– Because it is below C level.

How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
– Seventy two. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle …

Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”

– The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”

– “Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”

I’m so good at programming I don’t even need to test before I ship code.
– Sent my program last week and haven’t heard of any problems since!

A programmer is a person who fixes a problem you don’t know you have in a way that you don’t understand.

Thou shalt not provide help.
– If your users can not figure out themselves how to use your software than they are too dumb to deserve the benefits of your software anyway.

Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
– The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

Why did the programmer quit his job?
– Because he did not get arrays.

Programming jokes are fun…
– … but only when executed properly.

How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
– Give him a bottle of shampoo which says “lather, rinse, repeat.”

Every program is either trivial or it contains at least one bug.

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