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Country jokes 🐄🌾🚜 in 2022

What were the famous last words of the redneck stuntman?
– “Hold my beer and watch it!”

Do you know in which country scientists have successfully crossed an otter and a human?
– The otterman empire

How do Soviets invade a country?
– They Russian.

[Original] Which country has the 2nd fastest growing capital?
Ireland, it’s Dublin and Dublin every year. But which country has the fastest growing capital?
– Libya, it’s Tripoli every year.

Why were the people at the bar confused by the Spanish southerner?
– Because he kept talking in Espan-y’all.

Putin, Zelensky and Biden are on board a plane.
– Suddenly, the plane is losing altitude and they are about to crash. On board there are only two parachutes.

Immediately, Putin snatches a parachute and jumps out to save himself.

Biden takes the remaining parachute and gives it to Zelensky: “Save yourself, my friend. I am much older than you. Plus, in this difficult time your country needs you more than my country needs me. You deserve to live more than me.”

Zelensky feels convinced, so grudgingly accepts to take the parachute, gives one last hug to Biden and jumps out of the plane.

Then the plane regains altitude and Biden safely lands in Washington, because it turns out what was downing the plane in the first place was the weight of Zelensky’s massive balls.

Why was the colorblind guy unamused at the prospect of shifting to Colorado?
– Because it would just be -Ado for him.

What happened to the partially blind man when he went to Washington?
– He couldn’t Seattle!

66. My friend asked me, “Is Africa by Toto country music?”

Why did the President ban the sale of shredded cheese?
– Because he wants to make America grate again.

How was the airport security in Los Angeles?
– Quite LAX.

How do you attract a country girl?
– A tractor.

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