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Country jokes 🐄🌾🚜 in 2024

Which country and jazz instrument does Donald Trump like to play?
– A Trump-et.

Hordes of foreigners who speak a different language are pouring into our country through the porous and badly defended border in the wilderness and they are going to cause our society to collapse.
I’m starting to think Rome should do something about those Germans.

An older man is finally able to leave the Soviet Union in the late 1980s for the first time in his life.
– His wife and son have already left and settled in the States, and he’s finally able to go and join them.

On his way out through the Soviet border, the guard looks through his luggage and finds a bust of Lenin.

“What is this?” he asks.

“Don’t ask me *what* this is, ask me *who* this! This is Vladimir Lenin, the great hero that fought for the rights of the people in our country, and I’m bringing him with me to remind myself to continue that battle in America!”

The guard lets him through, and he is able to go on the plane to America. Once he arrives, the American border guard goes through his luggage and finds the bust of Lenin.

“What is this?” he asks.

“Don’t ask me *what* this is, ask me *who* this! This is Vladimir Lenin, the fiendish monster who destroyed my beautiful homeland! I am bringing him with me to remind myself the the mistakes of the past.”

The guard lets him through, and he is able to go into the country, where he takes a taxi to the house his wife and son are staying. After reuniting with them, the son sees the bust of Lenin, and asks, “Papa, who is this?”

The man smiles and says, “my son, don’t ask me *who* this is, ask me *what* this! This, my son, is 18 pounds of gold!”

Due to the rise of autonomous vehicles
– It’s only a matter of time until a country singer makes a song about his truck leaving them.

What did the Country music fan name the playlist of his favorite country songs?
– Johnny Cache.

An American and a Russian are arguing about which country has more freedom.
– The American says, “I can walk right up to the White House and shout ‘Down with Joe Biden!’ and nothing bad will happen to me.”

The Russian replies, “Guess what? I can walk in front of Kremlin and shout ‘Down with Joe Biden!’ and nothing will happen to me either.”

What do the Minnesota Vikings and the Memphis Grizzlies have in common?
– Neither has a title!

What would I do if my wife gets angry in the Northern cold?
– Alaska later what’s wrong.

63. Why did the Country musician lose his sponsorship with Coca Cola? Because his songs weren’t pop enough for them!

Why are there no more minerals on the West Coast?
– Because they Oregon.

What did Biggie say after looking at the map of the United States?
– “Where Brooklyn At!?”

In America, you listen to country
– In Soviet Russia, country listens to you!

A young man is vacationing in Spain…
… when he happens to wander into a pub populated entirely by tourists, most of whom are in the midst of playing some kind of trivia game.

The young man sits down at a vacant table and listens for a while, slowly realizing that the game is focused entirely on the many hotels, motels, and hostels that dot the country. It should be pretty boring, he thinks, but he ends up becoming more and more enthralled. Finally, after the thrilling finish of a round, the now-hooked traveller approaches the bartender.

“Hey,” he hurriedly says, “can I join the next game?”

The bartender arches a bushy eyebrow. “Really? Feeling swept up in the trivia?”

The young man nods. “I’m as surprised as you are, honestly. I wouldn’t have expected that I’d want to play so bad.”

The bartender sighs and nods. “Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Quiz itch, son.”

What would you do if the world ended tomorrow?
– I’d move to Bosnia because the country is 10 years behind everyone.

A foreigner enters a country and gets a taxi.
– On his way to the hotel he points at a tall building and asks the driver,’How long did it take to build that building?’. The driver responds, ‘Two years.’. ‘TWO YEARS! In my country it would have taken only Two months’,The foreigner said.

After a while, the foreigner again asked,’How long did it take to build that building?’ pointing at a taller building. The driver respond,’Three years.’ .’ THREE YEARS! In my country it would have taken only One year’,The foreigner said.

Some more time passes, The foreigner again asked,’How long did it take to build that building?’ pointing at the tallest building. The driver feeling his country’s reputation on the line said,’One month.’. The foreigner, not to be out done, said’ ONE MONTH! In my country it would have taken only 15 days’

A few minutes later, they pass by the country’s tallest most famous building. The foreigner naturally asks,’How long did it take to build that building?’. The driver sighs and says,’How do I tell you this?’. The foreigner looks confused and asks,’Tell me what?’. The driver says,

‘On my way to the airport this morning, there was no building there.’

Where would you find people suffering from sadness?
– In the state of Missouri.

What did the police department name their squad of short policemen?
– Minneapolis.

Why did the drunk man take a taxi from Louisiana all the way to Washington?
– Because he wasn’t in the best of states.

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