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Country jokes 🐄🌾🚜 in 2023

What did the Atlantan rap duo who did hip hop covers of Queen songs call themselves?
– Bohemian Rap City.

How many country singers does it take to change a light bulb?
– One to change it and one to sing about how much they miss the old one.

A geologist was driving down a country road
– A geologist was driving down a country road when he saw this beautiful rock formation. He pulled over to get a closer look. As he was admiring the rock, an old farmer drove up. The geologist asked if he knew how long the rock had been here.

The farmer says “in fact, I do! It’s a million and 7 years old”

The geologist stunned a bit says “that’s oddly specific, how do you know that?”

The farmer goes “well, another feller like you came to look at this same rock and he said it was a million years old. And that was about 7 years ago”

A Chinese man came to India
– He took a taxi at the airport.

On his way by seeing a bus he told the taxi driver that in India buses run very slow. In China buses run very fast.

After sometime, he came near a railway bridge and saw a train passing over the bridge. Then the Chinese guy told the driver that the trains also run very slow here. In China trains run very fast.

Throughout the journey he complained to the driver disparaging India.

However, the taxi driver kept mum throughout the journey.

When the Chinese man reached his destination, he asked the driver what is the meter reading and taxi fare thereon.

The driver replied it is Rs.5,000/-

The Chinese guy was shell shocked after hearing the taxi fare. He shouted:
“Are you kidding..? in your country buses run slow, trains run slow, everything is slow. How come the meter alone runs fast..?”

To this the driver replied calmly.

*“SIR, THE METER IS MADE IN CHINA..!”*

A Soviet officer and an American officer are talking over coffee at the end of World War II to celebrate their collaboration in the defeat of the Nazis.
– They start to banter and brag with each other.

The American says to the Soviet, “you know, in my country we have total freedom, I could stand in front of the White House and shout “I hate America!” and nothing would happen to me.”

The Soviet officer looks at him and replies, “yes, in the Soviet Union we also have such freedom, I too could stand in front of the Kremlin and shout “I hate America!” and nothing would happen to me either…”

What do a beach and an American beer have in common?
– They’re both close to water!

A man heard about a young adult novel where Schrodinger’s Cat and Pavlov’s – Dog team up for a cross-country adventure.
He goes down to the library to see if they have a copy for his daughter.

The librarian says it rings a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not

What did the Minnesota Timberwolves fan do after his team won the NBA Championship?
– He turned off his Playstation.

Why did the hipster become a fan of Field Hockey?
– Because it was Ice Hockey before it got cool!

What did the cowboy choose as his Twitch Username?
– Jolly Rancher.

Which country and jazz instrument does Donald Trump like to play?
– A Trump-et.

Hordes of foreigners who speak a different language are pouring into our country through the porous and badly defended border in the wilderness and they are going to cause our society to collapse.
I’m starting to think Rome should do something about those Germans.

An older man is finally able to leave the Soviet Union in the late 1980s for the first time in his life.
– His wife and son have already left and settled in the States, and he’s finally able to go and join them.

On his way out through the Soviet border, the guard looks through his luggage and finds a bust of Lenin.

“What is this?” he asks.

“Don’t ask me *what* this is, ask me *who* this! This is Vladimir Lenin, the great hero that fought for the rights of the people in our country, and I’m bringing him with me to remind myself to continue that battle in America!”

The guard lets him through, and he is able to go on the plane to America. Once he arrives, the American border guard goes through his luggage and finds the bust of Lenin.

“What is this?” he asks.

“Don’t ask me *what* this is, ask me *who* this! This is Vladimir Lenin, the fiendish monster who destroyed my beautiful homeland! I am bringing him with me to remind myself the the mistakes of the past.”

The guard lets him through, and he is able to go into the country, where he takes a taxi to the house his wife and son are staying. After reuniting with them, the son sees the bust of Lenin, and asks, “Papa, who is this?”

The man smiles and says, “my son, don’t ask me *who* this is, ask me *what* this! This, my son, is 18 pounds of gold!”

Due to the rise of autonomous vehicles
– It’s only a matter of time until a country singer makes a song about his truck leaving them.

What did the Country music fan name the playlist of his favorite country songs?
– Johnny Cache.

An American and a Russian are arguing about which country has more freedom.
– The American says, “I can walk right up to the White House and shout ‘Down with Joe Biden!’ and nothing bad will happen to me.”

The Russian replies, “Guess what? I can walk in front of Kremlin and shout ‘Down with Joe Biden!’ and nothing will happen to me either.”

What do the Minnesota Vikings and the Memphis Grizzlies have in common?
– Neither has a title!

What would I do if my wife gets angry in the Northern cold?
– Alaska later what’s wrong.

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