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Donkey jokes in 2024

How long should a donkey’s legs be?
– Long enough to reach the ground!

What do donkeys like to watch on TV?
– Bray Watch!

What’s the hardest key to turn?
– A donkey.

What do you call a donkey with one leg?
– A wonkey donkey.

When I tell you the story about the donkey and the soccer ball,
– I’m sure you’ll get a kick out of it.

What do you get when you cross a donkey and a zebra?
– Debra.

I was gonna tell you a joke I came up with about a were-donkey,
– but I decided it was too half-assed

Why did the donkey cross the road?
– Because the chicken was on holiday!

A man loads a burden onto his donkey and says…
– “Eukaryote.”

What do you get when you have Avogadro’s number of donkeys?
– Molasses.

An old couple are celebrating 75 years of marriage
– At the party one of the grandkids asks the Grandma what is the secret to such a long happy marriage as they never seed to argue or disagree about anything. The grandma tells them a story of when they first got married.

“It was our wedding day and we were very poor so we were heading to our honeymoon on our donkey and cart. We were about an hour into the journey when the donkey just lay down and wouldn’t budge. My new husband said to the donkey “That’s one”. After a few minutes the donkey got up and started going again. After another little while the donkey again sat down and wouldn’t move and my husband said “that’s two”. Again eventually the donkey got up and we were on our way. Then eventually the donkey stopped and wouldn’t go any further and without a word my husband got down and shot the donkey in the head and said “that’s three. “. I was so shocked, I started screaming at my husband”what did you do that for, are you crazy that’s terrible”. My husband turned to me and he said “that’s one”

I told my friend that I shot a donkey.
“You’re lying.” he said.

I replied, “No, deadass!”

What does a donkey do when you tell him a joke?
– He-ha’s.

What do you call a donkey that keeps time?
– Hourgl-ass.

Who does a donkey see to get its FICO score?
– The credit burro.

2 guys walk into a bar
“Hey donkey get the beers in” shouts one guy to the other.

The man walks up to the barman and stutters ” two bee… two bee… two beers please?” the barman starts to pour the mans beer when the guys friend shouts “Donkey! get me some nuts too”

The man stood at the bar says to the barman ” two pa… two pa.. two packets of nuts too please”

The barman says to the guy “That’s a bit mean, why does he call you donkey?” and the man replies “It’s OK, He aw… he aw.. he always calls me that”

“I am the young brother, let me through”
– A man rushed to a gathering at an accident scene. Unable to see the victim because of the crowd the man said,”I am the young brother, let me through” The crowd looked at the man & paved the way silently.At the centre lay a donkey which had been hit by a car.

How does Winnie the Pooh‘s friend paddle his boat?
– Eeyores it!

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