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Donkey jokes in 2025

How long should a donkey’s legs be?
– Long enough to reach the ground!

What do donkeys like to watch on TV?
– Bray Watch!

What’s the hardest key to turn?
– A donkey.

Why are donkeys, monkeys and turkeys similar?
– They all have keys!

The donkey once asked the Persian horse, “Do you play any instruments?”
– The horse replied, “Nay.”

What do you call a valuable donkey?
– An asset.

Dixie Kong ran up to Donkey Kong crying..
“What wrong?” asked Donkey Kong.

“Someone told me I could get bananas from a hornet’s nest so I hit it and the hornets came out and chased me!” Dixie sobs.

“Sounds like you did a Diddy.” says Donkey.

“A Diddy? What’s that mean?” asks Dixie.

DK explains, “I’m sayin, ‘Do a Diddy’. Diddy dumb, Diddy do.”

What do you call a donkey with one leg?
A wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye?
A winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye making love?
A bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye, making love while breaking wind?
A stinky bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye, making love while
breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes?
A honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye, making love while
breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes and playing piano?
A plinky plonky honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a frightened baby donkey?
– A chicken burrito.

What do you call a donkey throwing nuts to the moon?
– An ass throw nut (astronaut).

Why didn’t the donkey cross the road?
– He saw what happened with the zebra.

A donkey, mule, and a horse walk into a bar
– On their way to the bar a man looks at the donkey and yells “what an ass!”

The equestrians shrug off this distasteful jab and continue towards the bar.

The same man stands up and looks at the mule saying “I’d yell all day but now I’m a little horse!”

The equestrians ignore the man and finally make it to the bartender to order drinks. The horse reaches the bar first and is fed up with the treatment thus far. The bartender raises a hand and is about to speak when the horse cuts him off. “Yeah yeah yeah why the long face. We’ve heard enough.”

Flabbergasted the bartender speaks “hey”

The horses all respond “yes please!”

An American and an Indian board a plane to LAX,
Indian sits next to American.
American asks: What kind of “ian” are you?
– What?
– I said What kind of “ian” are you?
– I don’t understand your question.
– Stupid! Are you Cambodian, Indian or Iranian?
– Oh! I am Indian.
2 hours passed without a word.
Indian asks: What kind of “key” are you?
– What?
– Are you a monkey, donkey, or Yankee?

What did the donkey say to the couch?
– Nothing, because donkeys can’t speak.

A man fell in love with his faithful female donkey and married her.
– At the wedding, the priest said, “Well, this is refreshing. It’s usually the woman who’s marrying the ass.”

When do donkeys have six legs?
– When they’re being ridden.

A donkey and a horse met in a bar
After talking for a few minutes they decided to go to the horse’s house. When they arrived the donkey noticed that the horse had a lot of trophies and medals all across the walls, he asked him:

“Where did you get all of this things?”

“I am a race horse, I won them”, the horse replied.
The donkey was really impressed and they made plans to have dinner at the donkey’s house tomorrow.

On his way home the donkey thought: “I need to do something to impress the horse”. So on the day after he stopped at the flea marked and bought a framed zebra photo and hung it on his wall by the door.

The horse knocked on the door and when the donkey let him in he immediately saw the zebra photo and asked:

“What is this?”

“This?”, the donkey giggled, “I used to play football for Juventus”.

What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs?
– Anything you like, he can’t hear you!

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