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Tuesday jokes in 2023

Why is Sunday stronger than Tuesday?
– Because Tuesday is a weekday.

What’s E.T. short for?
– Because he’s got little legs.

why was the computer late to work?
– because it had a hard drive! (stole it from ellen, from her classic joke tuesday)

Why can’t the kids take a ferry to school on Tuesday?
– Because they have tuesday(to-use-da) roadway to reach the school.

Why didn’t the eggs go to school after Tuesday?
– They were all eggs-hausted and were afraid of the following day – the Humpty day!

From the year that brought you 8 months of March
– Welcome to Tuesday Part 4.

A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can’t part with it.

How do you mark the day when the baby chews food for the first time on Tuesday?
– You call it a ‘Chewsday’.

Why did the employee leave the office on a Tuesday morning?
– Because his boss said, ‘Have a good day’.

What did the employees say to the boss when he could find them on Tuesdays?
– They smiled at him and said, “Good employees are just hard to find, especially on a week day”.

I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday.
– They just don’t make them like their going to anymore.

Which branch of the military accepts toddlers?
– The infantry.

What do Tuesdays always love to do?
– They like to put the blame on Mondays.

What happens when the new President moves into the White House, but the old President refuses to leave?
####’My Two Presidents’

New CBS Tuesdays after NCIS: The Really Odd Couple 10/9c

You know there’s no official training for trash collectors?
– They just pick things up as they go along.

What is common between eggs and Tuesday?
– One can make a scrambled breakfast and the other can scramble your week.

Why are mints necessary for meals during Tuesday mornings?
– Because they back you up with an encourage-mint to reach the weekend.

So I got a nose job last Tuesday…
– It’s amazing what hookers will do if you tip them.

(Original joke)

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