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Tuesday jokes in 2024

Why is Sunday stronger than Tuesday?
– Because Tuesday is a weekday.

What’s E.T. short for?
– Because he’s got little legs.

why was the computer late to work?
– because it had a hard drive! (stole it from ellen, from her classic joke tuesday)

Why can’t the kids take a ferry to school on Tuesday?
– Because they have tuesday(to-use-da) roadway to reach the school.

Why can’t you change the decision of a seal saying ‘Tuesdays are the best’?
– Because it is a seal of approval.

What did the calendar say after Tuesday?
– WTF

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
– Same middle name.

Why did Pooh like Taco Tuesdays?
– Because they help in enhancing his roundness for the rest of the week.

I broke my hand last Tuesday, and the doctors told me that my cast wont be able to come off before 6 weeks.
– But dont worry, I managed to pull that thing off after 5 days, I dont know what they were on about!

What do the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?
– Icy dead people.

How many days did it take for Sunday to reach Wednesday?
– Twosday.

Why don’t people differentiate between Monday and Tuesday morning?
– Because for them Tuesday morning is just as similar to Mondays.

Everyone hates Mondays and Tuesdays
– Even the weekdays go WTF

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
– I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus.

Why do you often see fewer airplanes in the sky on Tuesday?
– Because after a long weekend, they’re supposed Tuesday grounded.

My wife’s panties are labelled ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’ …
– My underwear is labelled ‘January’, February’, ‘March’…

I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn’t actually mine.
Apparently I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

Why were Taco Tuesdays introduced?
– Because they wanted to give us something to taco ’bout the whole week.

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