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Silly jokes in 2022

How does NASA organize a party?
-They planet.

Why are frogs always so happy?
-They eat whatever bugs them.

What does a house wear?
-Address!

What do you call a dog with no legs?
-It doesn’t matter, it’s not going to come anyway.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
-Because he Neverlands. (I love this joke because it never grows old.)

Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
-He got fired.

A horse walks into a bar.
-The bartender says, “Why the long face?”

Someone stole my mood ring yesterday.
-I still don’t know how I feel about that.

I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
-But if anything, it made him more sluggish.

What did the duck say when it bought some lipstick?
-“Put it on my bill.”

The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?”
– And she replied, “Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.”

That was when I realized I’d left my phone on Airplane mode.

What do dentists call their x-rays?
-Tooth pics!

You: What cartoon mouse walks on two feet?
-Them: Mickey Mouse

You: What duck walks on two feet?

Them: Donald Duck

You: No, all ducks do!

What did the tie say to the hat?
-You go on ahead. I’ll hang around.

What did one elevator say to the other?
-I think I’m coming down with something.

Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
-They don’t meet the koalafications.

How did the hipster burn his mouth?
-He ate his pizza before it was cool.

A Roman legionnaire walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says,
-“Five beers, please.”

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