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History jokes 📜 in 2023

How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
– With hero-glyphics!

Why was Elizabethan England so wet?
– Because the Queen reigned for 45 years!

It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named,
– his father was after Jefferdad.

George Washington has sleeping problems only
– because he is unable to lie.

“The Mouse’s Tale” in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
– Toga-ther we can rule the world!

Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington’s army?
– Laugh-ayette!

In a fallen knight’s grave, the epitaph usually reads “Rust in Peace.”

When Napoleon is indecisive,
– he is torn-apart-e.

Q: What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?
– A: Floodlights!

Why was the king only a foot tall?
– Because he was a ruler!

The English Pilgrims’ favorite type of flower is the May Flower.

The Roman Empire was cut in half by a pair of Caesars.

When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class,
– I answered, “I have Noah idea!”

Which Pharaoh played the trumpet?
– Tooting-khamun!

Where did Ivan the Terrible get his coffee from?
– Tsarbucks!

One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.

The yearbook superlative that Robert Lee had given in his graduation was “Most likely to secede.”

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