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History jokes 📜 in 2024

Which English royal family was the smartest?
– The Tudors!

What do you call a vegan Viking?
– A Norvegan!

What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
– Because it can’t sit down!

When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain,
– it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.

When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon’s origin,
– she replied,”‘Course I can!”

Q: What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
– A: Toga-ether we can rule the world

What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
– “Over my dead body!”

When Julius Ceasar got defeated by Brutus in ‘Battleship,
– ‘ he said, “A2 Brute?”

The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad,
– it was tearable.

“Ask for me tomorrow, and you’ll find me a grave man.”

What was the Romans’ greatest achievement?
– Learning to speak Latin!

Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
– It was too far to swim!

Vikings used to send private messages using the Norse code.

When one is Russian for industrialization,
– there is no time for Stalin.

“Land-On Washington”

There was once a famous Viking called Rudolph the Red.
– One day, he looked outside and asked his wife to bring the washing in because it looked like it was going to be a wet day.
– His wife asked, “what makes you say that?”
– The Viking replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

Why aren’t you doing well in history class at school?
– Because the history teacher keeps on asking me about things that happened years before I was born!

During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation

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