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Library jokes 📚 in 2022

A black guy in the library asked me where the colored printers were.
– I said, “Dude, it’s 2022, you can use any printer you want.”

Why did the librarian scold the kid when his book on amnesia was seven months overdue?
– Because he forgot about it.

Why did the clock get kicked out of the library?
– It tocked too much.

Why did the elephant use her trunk to bookmark her books?
– So that she nose where she stopped last.

Once I got kicked out of a library for being a mime.
– Because actions speak louder than words.

Where are the books on reincarnation kept in a library?
– At the Returns Counter.

How do librarians save contacts on their phone? They ask for people’s call number.

I have to give a talk in college next week, on the history and manufacture of petroleum-based lubricants, so I’ve spent all day in the local library.
– They have an excellent non-friction section.

What happens in a library bathroom?
– People take shhhhhhhits

The junior librarian was reincarnated as a bookmark because he always knew his place.

Why do librarians love good jokes about the books?
– They always get the reference.

Why does Kim Jong Un have such a big library?
– Because he’s Supreme Reader

What do readers have to say about the new book about teleportation?
– It sure will get you somewhere.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library.
– When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

Why is it hard to get reservations to visit the largest library in the world?
– It is overbooked always.

A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger
The librarian says, “This is a library.”
The man apologizes and whispers, “I’d like a hamburger, please.”

What do librarians do after they retire?
– They get ready for a new chapter in their life.

A chicken walks into a library, and says to the librarian: “Book, book, book”
The librarian hands out three books to the chicken.
On the way out the chicken runs into a frog and shows him the books and says: “Book, book, book”
The frog replies: “Reddit, reddit, reddit”

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