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Library jokes 📚 in 2022

What is the tallest building in the world?
– The library, because it has the most stories.

What did the cops say when the librarian died after a book fell on top of her head?
– She had her shelf to blame.

A man heard about a young adult novel where Schrodinger’s Cat and Pavlov’s Dog team up for a cross-country adventure.
He goes down to the library to see if they have a copy for his daughter.
The librarian says it rings a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

Why is Walden considered to be a great book?
– Because of the Thoreau editing.

A woman walks into a library and asks if they had any books about paranoia.
– The librarian says, “They’re right behind you!”

Where do libraries keep books about the sasquatch?
– In the large-print section.

A chicken walks into a library, goes up to the desk and says “buk”.
So the librarian gives the chicken a book. The chicken walks outside with the book and comes back 5 minutes later without the book.

“Buk, buk” says the chicken again, so the librarian gives it another book, it walks outside and returns with no book.

“Buk, buk” it says, and the same thing repeats a few more times.

Eventually the librarian decides to investigate what the chicken is doing with all the books, so they follow the chicken outside.

The chicken walks up to the edge of a pond, and tosses the book to a frog sitting on a lilly pad, surrounded by all the other books the librarian gave the chicken.

“Buk, buk.” Says the chicken.

The frog responds, “reddit, reddit.”

Friends, just a reminder to those who received a book from me at Christmas…
– They are due back in the library on the 29th.

In tragic news, Donald Trump’s personal library has burned down
Now he will never find out if the caterpillar ever got a good meal

A man goes to a library and asks for a book on suicide.
– The librarian stares at him for a while, then asks, “Who’s gonna bring it back?”

New York is a great city. Today I was at the library, & I asked the librarian for a library card. He told me I first had to prove I was from New York.
– So I stabbed him.

I just got a new job at the prison library
– It has its prose and cons.

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