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Library jokes 📚 in 2023

Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice, “NO, I DON ‘T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!” All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy ‘s table and said, “I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”
The guy then responded with a loud voice, “$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT ‘S WAY TOO MUCH!”
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy stood and whispered in her ear, “I study law, and I know how to screw people.”

Why do bookworms never go out?
– Because they are always booked.

I tried making a reservation at the library…
..they said that they were fully booked.

Why do ghosts always require more and more books?
– They go through the ones they have too quickly.

I wrote a novel about religious women.
– The library put it in the nun fiction section.

Where do libraries keep their books about various conspiracies?
– Right behind you.

I got distracted while studying Reading a book about abdominal pain in the library last night
– Someone ripped out the appendix

A Swedish man shows up to a job interview
The interviewer says, “Mr. Gustafson, could you explain the 4 year gap in your resume?”
“I went to Yale”, he replied.
“Outstanding! What did you go to Yale for?”
“Yacking off in the library”

Presidential Library Ideas: Former President Donald J Trump
– A children’s section with cages for kids to sit in and read.

Bookkeepers are problems for libraries.

Why did the local library ban drinks for people who read there?
– Because a person poured some milk on the serials.

A village idiot walks into a library
He goes to the librarian and says, “Ma’am, I’m looking for a book by Shakespeare.”
The librarian says, “Sure, hon. Which one?”
The idiot says, “William”.

Why did the book of incantations fail to work?
– They forgot to run a spell check on it.

A university student placed an inter-library loan request for Your Mom
– The file was too large to be delivered.

I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov’s Dog and Schrodinger’s Cat
– She said it rang a bell but wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

Why does Dracula frequent the library?
– He likes to sink his teeth into good books.

Library patron: Can I get the book on Kyrsten Sinema’s re-election?
Librarian: Is this a joke?
Library Patron: Yeah, that’s the one.

How do librarians show affection to the love of their lives?
– They say ISBN thinking about you all day.

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