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Accounting Jokes 📒 in 2022

Why did the cannibal accountant get disciplined?
– For buttering up her clients.

It’s
– accrual world.

How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
– Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold a road map the wrong way.

What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.?
-Lazy.

What do you call a group financial controller who’s lost his job?
-Bob.

Ever wonder why they call it a Form 1040?
– For every $50 you earn, you get $10, they get $40.

There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business:
– 1. Don’t tell them everything you know. 2. [Redacted]

Why do accountants get excited at the weekends?
-Because they can wear casual clothes to work.

Budget:
-An orderly system for living beyond your means.

What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
-Invite an accountant.

There are 3 types of accountants.
-Those who can count and those who can’t.

How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
-Tie them to a chair and mess up their excel formulas.

Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
They find bookkeeping too exciting.

An economist is someone who didn’t have enough personality
-to become an accountant.

The best things in life are free —
– plus tax, of course.

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?
– It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait – 14 seconds, no wait……

Why don’t old accountants die?
-They just lose their balance!

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?
– Depreciation.

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