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Accounting Jokes 📒 in 2023

Welcome to the accounting department,
-where everybody counts.

How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
– Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold a road map the wrong way.

Why did the cannibal accountant get disciplined?
– For buttering up her clients.

It’s
– accrual world.

Did you hear about the constipated CFO?
– He couldn’t budget with his calculator so he had to work it out with a pencil and paper.

How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
– Net Present Value.

How do you know when an accountant’s having a mid-life crisis?
-He gets a faster calculator.

What is the definition of “accountant”?
– Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.

Why was the accountant in rehab?
– Solvency abuse.

Accountants don’t die,
-they get derecognized

What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
-The accountant knows he’s boring.

What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance?
– A late night.

How does an accountant stay out of debt?
-He learns to act his wage.

What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
– Lost.

What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance?
-A late night.

What do computers eat for a snack?
-Microchips

How do you know when an accountant is on holiday?
– He doesn’t wear a tie and comes in after 8am!

What’s grey on the inside and red on the outside?
-An accountant turned inside out.

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