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Accounting Jokes 📒 in 2024

It’s
– accrual world.

Welcome to the accounting department,
-where everybody counts.

How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
– Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold a road map the wrong way.

Why do accountants get excited at the weekends?
-Because they can wear casual clothes to work.

Why did the cannibal accountant get disciplined?
– For buttering up her clients.

I ran out of new IPv4 jokes.
-I could tell you an IPv6 one but I’m afraid, you might not understand it.

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
-How much money do you have?

A farmer sends his accounting sheepdog, Spot, off to gather in his 8 sheep. On returning the farmer is astonished to find he now has 10 animals in his pen and asks the dog to explain.
– Woof! You asked me to round them up, woof”, barks Spot.

What does an accountant say when boarding a train?
-‘Mind the GAAP’.

What do accountants do for fun?
-Add the telephone book!

A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an accountant. Her friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire an accountant a short while ago?
-The business owner replies, “That’s the accountant I’ve been searching for.”

Why don’t accountants read novels?
-Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

How was copper wire invented?
-2 accountants were arguing over a penny.

What would an accountant want for a superpower?
– Telepathy with an excel spreadsheet.

What do you call an accountant who says he’s posted a one-sided journal?
-A liar!! Under Sarbox rules it just can’t happen! Can it??!!

What does CPA stand for?
– Can’t Pass Again.

Why don’t skunks have to pay taxes?
-Because they only have one scent.

It’s 4:04.
-Do you know where your auditor is?

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