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Accounting Jokes 📒 in 2023

Why did the cannibal accountant get disciplined?
– For buttering up her clients.

– accrual world.

Welcome to the accounting department,
-where everybody counts.

How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
– Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold a road map the wrong way.

A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had 6 months to live.
-“Oh my God!” said the woman. “What shall I do?”
“Marry an accountant,” suggested the doctor.
“Why?” asked the woman. “Will that make me live longer?”
“No,” replied the doctor. “But it will SEEM longer.”

A fine is a tax for doing wrong
-A tax is a fine for doing well.

Why do accountants get excited at the weekends?
– Because they can wear casual clothes to work.

Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant?
-No. Me neither.

Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, “What is this?”
-to which accountant number one replies, “it’s that $50 I owe you.”

Children may be tax deductible,
– but they’re still taxing.

What’s an extroverted accountant?
-One who looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.

Did you hear about the deviant Forensic Accountant?
-He got his client’s charges reduced from gross indecency to net indecency.

Did you hear about the shy and retiring accountant?
-The accountant is $1 million shy and hence is retiring.

What do you call an accountant without a calculator?
– Lonely.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
– A tax is a fine for doing well.

I ran out of new IPv4 jokes.
-I could tell you an IPv6 one but I’m afraid, you might not understand it.

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
-How much money do you have?

A farmer sends his accounting sheepdog, Spot, off to gather in his 8 sheep. On returning the farmer is astonished to find he now has 10 animals in his pen and asks the dog to explain.
– Woof! You asked me to round them up, woof”, barks Spot.

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