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Tea jokes ☕ in 2024

What type of tea does Uncle Sam drink?
– Liber-tea.

Why do the cows return from the fields right about when evening tea is ready?
– It’s tea-pot calling the cattle back

Have you heard about the cannabis-infused tea for marsupials?
– It’s high Koala tea

What do you call a man who dips biscuits into his cup of tea?
– Duncan.

Why does Karl Marx hate earl grey?
– Because all proper tea is theft.

I like my men like I like my coffee
– *sips tea*

Did you hear about the Native American who drank 20 gallons of tea?
– They found him dead the next day laying in his own teapee.

Political correctness
– This political correctness is slowly getting too bad. You can’t even say “black tea” anymore. Now it’s “Jamal, pour me more tea”

Why is lemonade bad?
– Because it’s not-tea by nature.

I like my women how I like my coffee
– *Sips tea*

[Nerd Joke Warning] What Tea makes you original?
– Novel-tea

Why don’t hipsters drink iced tea?
– Because they drank tea before it was cool.

Before I have a dangerous coffee, –
– I like to have safe tea first

My wife left me because I’m too insecure.
– No wait, she’s back.
– She just went to make a cup of tea.

Never accept tea offered by the Russian President
– You don´t know what Vladimir Putin

My flatmate drank my cannabis tea earlier, and he is now walking around the flat as if he owns the place.
– He’s so high on my tea.

I like my girls like I like my tea…
– Hot, brown, and imported from India.

What did one tea leaf say to the other tea leaf?
– “This is a fine mesh we’ve gotten ourselves into!”

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