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Tea jokes ☕ in 2024

What type of tea does Uncle Sam drink?
– Liber-tea.

I like people like I like my tea.
– In a bag….underwater

What does an English pimp do, after having tea and crumpets?
– Tally Hoes.

One cup asks another if he wants to see which once can hold most tea.
– The other says, “no, that’s a mug’s game”.

Patient says, “Doctor I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea”
– Doctor says, “Take the spoon out of your mug”

Did you hear about that Native American who drank ten cups of tea one night?
– They found him dead the next day in his teepee

Why do communists only drink herbal tea?
– Because proper tea is theft.

Why don’t British people cry at funerals?
– They are used to Casual Teas

If you put sugar in tea, what do you put in sugar?
– A spoon.

What did the Jewish man do when he wanted tea?
– Hebrew.

What did the tea bag say when he didn’t get laid?
– “She was such a teas”

What starts with a ‘t’ ends with a ‘t’ and is full of ‘t’ ?
– A teapot.

A man walks into a retro shop in Birmingham.
– He says “I’d like a kipper tie please”. Chap behind the counter says “milk & sugar?”

Patient: “Doctor, I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.”
– Doctor: “Take the spoon out of your mug.”

I like people like I like my tea.
– In a bag….underwater

Made holy water while making my tea yesterday
– I just boiled the hell out of it

What type of tea does queen elizabeth love to drink?
– Immortali-Tea

Which dinosaur loved drinking tea?
– The Tea-Rex.

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