Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Medical Jokes 💉 in 2024

There’s a medicine you can buy that apparently cures scepticism.
– But I’m not buying it.

I’m so proud of my grandma. At 90 years old she attended medical school
-She’s a cadaver.

In medical school, you really do learn something new every day…
-…for instance, today I learned that it’s inappropriate to refer to infertile people as “seedless”.

I went to medical school with an incredibly ambitious guy who was obsessed with collecting skulls.
-He’d do anything to get a head

Courtesy of my 5 year old: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
-To stop his coffin.

Jesus dropped out of medical school.
-I hear he got nailed on the boards.

I stepped on a bottle of medicine and fell down the stairs…
-… that’s the last time I trip on robotussin.

I work at a pharmaceutical research lab, and we managed to kill a rat with marijuana today.
-To be fair, it took around 20 lbs of it and we had to drop it on him a few times.

Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
-Only if you aim it well enough.

Ron Paul’s favorite medicine?
-Sudafed

Revolutionary medicine that cures Lyme Disease, but causes Tourette’s
– Now that’s gonna cause a lot of nervous tics

NSFW My American friend told me that she had a medical condition called prolapse
-Prolapse… Isn’t that considered a talent in Germany???

8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks “What will it be?”
-One of them says, “Make us a double.”

They say that laughter is the best medicine.
-Then, why was I kicked out the cancer ward for laughing at the patients?

They say that laughter is the best medicine…
-Tell that to the judge who held me in contempt for giggling during my patients’ testimonies.

This happened while I was in my first year of medical school. I was taking an exam in anatomy. It was really tough.
-They asked questions like, “How many bones are there in the hand?” I was stymied. I kept saying to myself, “How many bones are there in the hand?”

Two twins both studied medicine in college
-When they graduated they became a pair-a-medics

Why are pharmaceutical chemists considered such studs?
-They’re able to make a fun-gal cream.

Follow us on Facebook