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Medical Jokes 💉 in 2023

There’s a medicine you can buy that apparently cures scepticism.
– But I’m not buying it.

I’m so proud of my grandma. At 90 years old she attended medical school
-She’s a cadaver.

What do you call alternative medicine that actually works?
– Medicine

What do conservatives call medical marijuana?

Why was the patient very angry when the nurse wake him up to take medicine?
-It was sleeping pill

After years in Veterinary medicine, I decided to learn Taxidermy also.
-Now my sign reads: “Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy — Either way,you get your dog back!”

What is the ironic part of medical school?
-It’s bad for your health.

Puzzled doctor: “Why are you shaking and gyrating in the clinic after collecting your bottle of medicine?” Patient points to bottle:
-Says here ‘Shake well before use’.”
“That refers to the bottle.

What’s France’s favourite pharmaceutical?

A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter’s strange eating habits.
–”Eventually,” said the consultant, “she will rise and shine.”
-those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

Dolly Parton just got a dose of her own medicine.

– Now her clothes don’t fit.

What do computers eat for a snack?

When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.
– At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters


and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered ‘SPINE’ are doctors today while rest are on Reddit.

A doctor once told me laughter was the best medicine
-I wish he knew i was still suffering from a stomach operation that just happened 2 days ago

I have been trying Chinese medicine for depression for about two months now
-I think its working. My tears have certainly been repressed.

My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school.
– She’s a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest.

Recently a man died of an overdose of homeopathic medicine…
-…he forgot to take his pill.

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