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Medical Jokes 💉 in 2024

There’s a medicine you can buy that apparently cures scepticism.
– But I’m not buying it.

I’m so proud of my grandma. At 90 years old she attended medical school
-She’s a cadaver.

In medical school, you really do learn something new every day…
-…for instance, today I learned that it’s inappropriate to refer to infertile people as “seedless”.

I went to medical school with an incredibly ambitious guy who was obsessed with collecting skulls.
-He’d do anything to get a head

Courtesy of my 5 year old: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
-To stop his coffin.

Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.
-Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.

There are 3 farmers, let’s call them A, B and C. Which one is the best with medicine?
-Farmer C

What medicine is praised for being a murderer?
– A pain killer

What was Zeus” specialty in medical school?
-Surge-ery

Why did the cat need medicine?
-Because it wasn’t feline too good.

Why did the tractor sell medicines?
-Because it was a farm assist!
… I’m sorry…

When I die, I’m donating my body to science.
– It’s the only way I’ll ever get into medical school.

If laughter is the best medicine
– your face must be curing the world

Kek day joke: What do you call the person who graduates medical school with the lowest GPA?
-Doctor.

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
– Nurse: No change yet.

Doctor: how’s the flu medicine going for you? I know it’s a little bitter
– Patient: No, the medicine’s fine, can’t even taste anything when I take it

What could have been the best name for diarrhea medicine?
– Gonorrhea (Gone-o-rrhea)

[OC] How did the Mexican doctor double a patient’s medicine?
-He gave him a dosage

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