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Medical Jokes 💉 in 2022

There’s a medicine you can buy that apparently cures scepticism.
– But I’m not buying it.

I’m so proud of my grandma. At 90 years old she attended medical school
-She’s a cadaver.

I will never have the audacity to choose a career path for my children,
-it’s their responsibility to choose whatever medical school they’ll graduate from.

People always say laughter is the best medicine…
-But when I ask for it at the pharmacy people always give me a weird look.

Yale is rescinding Bill Cosby’s honorary degree.
– He still has his Doctorate of Applied Pharmaceuticals to fall back on.

Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine?
– He made a spectacle of himself

What do you call medicine that you give to pigs?
-Oinkment

Medicine ads on TV be like: Secondary effects: You may die
-Okay then

We were about to observe our first autopsy in medical school, and my friend asked me, “What do you think it’ll be like?”
-I said, “Remains to be seen.”

I keep all my medicines in the ceiling
-It’s my drug attic.

Doctor: You need to take this medicine after eating food
-African kid: *cries*

If you ask Kamala Harris’ Indian relatives what she does for work
-“She has an internship in Politics but she is studying for the MCAT and applying to medical school.”

I asked my doctor what was the best cough suppressant medicine I could buy over the counter.
-Laxatives.
I have since completely stopped coughing.

Where do snowmen go in a medical emergency?
– The ICY-U

Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.
-Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.

There are 3 farmers, let’s call them A, B and C. Which one is the best with medicine?
-Farmer C

What medicine is praised for being a murderer?
– A pain killer

What was Zeus” specialty in medical school?
-Surge-ery

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