Medical Jokes ๐Ÿ’‰ in 2021

I will never have the audacity to choose a career path for my children,
-itโ€™s their responsibility to choose whatever medical school theyโ€™ll graduate from.

People always say laughter is the best medicine…
-But when I ask for it at the pharmacy people always give me a weird look.

Yale is rescinding Bill Cosbyโ€™s honorary degree.
– He still has his Doctorate of Applied Pharmaceuticals to fall back on.

Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine?
– He made a spectacle of himself

What do you call medicine that you give to pigs?
-Oinkment

Medicine ads on TV be like: Secondary effects: You may die
-Okay then

We were about to observe our first autopsy in medical school, and my friend asked me, โ€œWhat do you think itโ€™ll be like?โ€
-I said, โ€œRemains to be seen.โ€

I keep all my medicines in the ceiling
-It’s my drug attic.

Doctor: You need to take this medicine after eating food
-African kid: *cries*

If you ask Kamala Harris’ Indian relatives what she does for work
-“She has an internship in Politics but she is studying for the MCAT and applying to medical school.”

I asked my doctor what was the best cough suppressant medicine I could buy over the counter.
-Laxatives.
I have since completely stopped coughing.

Where do snowmen go in a medical emergency?
– The ICY-U

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