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Medical Jokes ๐Ÿ’‰ in 2021

8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks “What will it be?”
-One of them says, “Make us a double.”

They say that laughter is the best medicine.
-Then, why was I kicked out the cancer ward for laughing at the patients?

They say that laughter is the best medicine…
-Tell that to the judge who held me in contempt for giggling during my patients’ testimonies.

This happened while I was in my first year of medical school. I was taking an exam in anatomy. It was really tough.
-They asked questions like, “How many bones are there in the hand?” I was stymied. I kept saying to myself, “How many bones are there in the hand?”

Two twins both studied medicine in college
-When they graduated they became a pair-a-medics

Why are pharmaceutical chemists considered such studs?
-They’re able to make a fun-gal cream.

The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can’t ask his patients what is the matter
-he’s got to just know.

How did the people of India get so good at medicine?
-They’ve got much practice thanks to a lot of Sikh people

A buddy of mine went to college, majored in veterinary medicine and minored in taxidermy?
-“Either way you’re getting your dog back” He says

I had an appointment with a doctor’s office to get my medical marijuana card the other day…
-When asked where I heard of them, I told him my friend reeferred me.

Itโ€™s never a good idea to attempt any type of cardiac surgery before going to medical school.
-That would be putting the heart before the course.

Grandma: What’s the German guy who’s hiding my medicine called?
– Grandson: Alzheimer’s, Grandma, alzhemier’s.

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