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Pilot jokes 👨‍✈️✈️ in 2022

A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin.
– “Do you always carry such heavy luggage?” she sighed.
– “No more,” the man said. “Next time, I’m riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!”

I threw my phone from the roof, and it broke.
– I guess airplane mode wasn’t working.

Where can you find the Great Plains?
– In the great airports.

Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?
– Because it was overbooked.

Chuck Norris put his phone on airplane mode…
– and flew it.

What kind of chocolate does a pilot like to eat?
– A bar of plane chocolate.

A plane lands, and shortly after, the flight attendant comes over the speaker.
“Hi, folks! Sorry about that rough landing. It wasn’t the captain’s fault. It definitely wasn’t my fault…
– It was the asphalt.”

How do archers travel long distances?
– On an arrow-plane.

Yesterday, I saw a police officer wearing a pilot’s uniform.
– I thought it was a bit odd.
– Then I realized he was one of those plane clothes cops.

I’m a helicopter instructor.
– It has its ups and downs.

What’s the difference between God and a pilot?
– God doesn’t think he’s a pilot…

What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
– A “plane in the neck.”

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