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Air force jokes ✈ in 2023

I met an old Air Force guy. He said the first time he was gonna jump out of a plane he was scared. He said the Captain told him to jump, or he’d stick his d**k where the “sun don’t shine”. I go, “Did you jump?” He said, “A little.”

What do pilots and air traffic controllers have in common?
– If pilots screw up, they die. If air traffic controllers screw up, pilots also die.

What`s the difference between a Doctors Without Borders hospital and ISIS?
– How would I know, I`m just a US Air Force Operator.

What does each ‘Branch’ stand for?
NAVY stands for Never Again Volunteer Yourself!
ARMY= Aint Ready to be a Marine Yet

An Air Force Colonel is about to commence briefing his soldiers.
– Most of them are standing there naked wondering how they were convinced to play out one of their commander’s fantasies.

How do you know when your date with a fighter pilot is halfway over?
– He says, “Enough about me. Want to hear about my plane?”

What’s the purpose of the propeller?
– To keep the pilot cool. Doubt it? Stop the propeller and watch the pilot sweat.

When does an Air Force officer need a hair cut?
– Never, they get it before its needed!

If Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Bill Barr, Stephen Miller, and Jared Kushner we’re on Air Force One together and the plane were to suddenly crash, who would survive?
– The United States of America.

What do you call a deer enlisted in the Air Force?
– A bombardeer.

My buddy in the Air Force got injured in the war…
– He fell off his chair.

How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
– He’ll tell you.

A soldier finds a scorpion in his tent…
In the Marines, he kills the scorpion.
In the Army, he calls his CO and reports the presence of the scorpion.
In the Air Force, he calls the front desk and asks why there’s a tent in his room.

Did you hear that the Air Force just bought a bunch of copies of The Little Mermaid on DVD?
– They must be preparing for an Ariel assault.

Why did the soldier blow himself up?
– He wanted to C4 himself.

Air Force One now gets a new Code name!
– The COVID Express!

What’s the difference between God and fighter pilots
– God doesn’t think he’s a fighter pilot.

Dad: You wanna join the navy? You can’t even swim!
– Son: But then in the Air Force no one can fly either.

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