Air force jokes ✈ in 2022

An Airman and a Marine walk into the restroom at the same time.
The Airman finishes up and heads out. When the Marine is finished, he washes his hands and then catches up to the Airman. “Hey, buddy. In the Marines, they teach us to wash our hands after we take a leak.”
– The airman responds, “In the Air Force, they teach us not to pee on our hands.”

It’s 1955 at a SAC B-36 base and an F-86 pilot is requesting landing instructions.
– He is low on fuel and asks for priority. The tower tells him he is second in line behind a B-36 with an engine out. The Jet pilot’s response, “Ahh, the dreaded nine engine landing.”

What do you call a deer that’s enlisted in the Air Force?
– A bombar*deer*.

What does each ‘Branch’ stand for?
NAVY stands for Never Again Volunteer Yourself!
ARMY= Aint Ready to be a Marine Yet

An Air Force Colonel is about to commence briefing his soldiers.
– Most of them are standing there naked wondering how they were convinced to play out one of their commander’s fantasies.

How do you know when your date with a fighter pilot is halfway over?
– He says, “Enough about me. Want to hear about my plane?”

What’s the purpose of the propeller?
– To keep the pilot cool. Doubt it? Stop the propeller and watch the pilot sweat.

I met an old Air Force guy. He said the first time he was gonna jump out of a plane he was scared. He said the Captain told him to jump, or he’d stick his d**k where the “sun don’t shine”. I go, “Did you jump?” He said, “A little.”

When does an Air Force officer need a hair cut?
– Never, they get it before its needed!

If Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Bill Barr, Stephen Miller, and Jared Kushner we’re on Air Force One together and the plane were to suddenly crash, who would survive?
– The United States of America.

What do pilots and air traffic controllers have in common?
– If pilots screw up, they die. If air traffic controllers screw up, pilots also die.

What do you call a deer enlisted in the Air Force?
– A bombardeer.