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Fruit jokes 🍊🍋🍓🥝 in 2023

What did the pitted fruit say when he got in a fight?
– You want a peach of me?!

You’re berry special to me.

If he doesn’t appreciate you, let that mango.

Why are oranges the fastest fruit?
– They never run out of juice!

What pie did the scientists use for their experiment?
– A peach tree dish!

What do you call a fruit mixed with a stone that *isn’t* a stone fruit?

You have a peach of my heart.

I had grape expectations for this.

How do you fix a broken berry?
– With a strawberry patch!

A guy kept trying to sell me tropical fruit. I told him mango!

My friend told me, “did you know trees drop edible stuff that’s not fruit?”
– “that’s nuts” I replied.

You better get juiced to my jokes!

What do you call an apple that plays the trumpet?
– A tooty fruity!

Lemons and limes fight all the time,
– they are bitter rivals!

I know joking about Tom Cruise’s height is low-hanging fruit…
– but that’s all he can reach.

I’m berry fond of you.

Let it mango.

I just found out I’m colourblind…
– That diagnosis came completely out of the orange!

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