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Neck jokes in 2022

The french revolution was kind of a pain in the neck, but once it was over it was a weight off of some people’s shoulders

The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.

Why did the red neck couple only have two children?
– The wife read that every third person born in the world was Chinese.

Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks.
– They are fully protected from vampires.

I went to the chiropractor for an adjustment and left with the worst pain in my neck
– I don’t recommend Dr. Acula.

A multi-layered person has a double neck.

What do you call a bunch of lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
– Not enough sand.

What do a hurricane, a tornado and a red neck divorce all have in common?
– In every case, someone loses a trailer.

I got this neck brace a few weeks ago…
– and I haven’t looked back since.

There are so many things I like about horses, but my favorite is all that hair running down their neck.
– That’s the mane thing.

Went to a club wearing a set of jump leads around his neck. The bouncer said “you can come in but don’t be starting anything”.

That was a head turner.

Thought I’d called the Dalai Lama the other day and got sent a goat with an odd neck.
– Turned out I’d called Dial-A-Llama.

Kiss in the neck can be a sweet, romantic gesture
– not sure why everybody in the bus is freaking out

I went to the doctor the other day, and all he did was bite my neck.
– Don’t go see Dr. Acula

A man walks into a Psychiatrists office wrapped completely from neck to toe in nothing but plastic wrap…
– The Psychiatrist takes one look at him sighs and says, “Well, I can see your nuts.”

Why does a giraffe have a long neck?
– So it can reach it’s head.

Why did God give women legs?
1. To look at.
2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.

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