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Neck jokes in 2024

The french revolution was kind of a pain in the neck, but once it was over it was a weight off of some people’s shoulders

I went to the chiropractor for an adjustment and left with the worst pain in my neck
– I don’t recommend Dr. Acula.

A multi-layered person has a double neck.

What do you call a bunch of lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
– Not enough sand.

What do a hurricane, a tornado and a red neck divorce all have in common?
– In every case, someone loses a trailer.

I got this neck brace a few weeks ago…
– and I haven’t looked back since.

There are so many things I like about horses, but my favorite is all that hair running down their neck.
– That’s the mane thing.

Went to a club wearing a set of jump leads around his neck. The bouncer said “you can come in but don’t be starting anything”.

The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.

Why did the red neck couple only have two children?
– The wife read that every third person born in the world was Chinese.

Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks.
– They are fully protected from vampires.

That was a head turner.

Thought I’d called the Dalai Lama the other day and got sent a goat with an odd neck.
– Turned out I’d called Dial-A-Llama.

Kiss in the neck can be a sweet, romantic gesture
– not sure why everybody in the bus is freaking out

I went to the doctor the other day, and all he did was bite my neck.
– Don’t go see Dr. Acula

I don’t know why employers don’t like neck tattoos
– It shows you can sit in one spot for hours while tiny needles are jabbed into your skin, which is what every meeting I’ve ever been in feels like.

How do you circumcise a red neck?
– Kick his sister in the jaw

My owl turned 180 today.

– He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.

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