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New Years jokes 🎇 in 2024

What was Dr. Frankenstein’s new year’s resolution?
– To make new friends.

What does a field grow on Jan. 1?
– New Year’s hay.

What happened to the man who stole a calendar?
-He got 12 months!

My New Year’s resolution is to take all the Christmas lights
– down by Easter.

What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?
-Happy New Cheer!

I think it’s great to make your first date a New Year’s party
-That way, you’re at least sure you’ll get to first base.

I’m going to stay up late this New Year’s Eve
-not to ring in the New Year, but to make sure this one leaves.

My New Year’s resolution is to see my cup half-full,
-preferably with rum, gin, vodka, or moonshine.

Why is partying in Times Square overrated?
– Because they drop the ball every year.

Miami asks residents not to celebrate New Year by shooting into the air,
-because the bullets will come back down..

Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?
– To start off the new year in a cool way.

What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve?
– Social Security.

My brother’s New Year’s resolution is to move out of my parents house.
– You’d think after 49 years he’d try another one.

Knock knock! Who’s there?
-Abby. Abby who? Abby New Year!

My grandparents had resolutions like donating more time & money to charities.
-I’ve decided to make my own coffee once a week.

I was going to give up all of my bad habits for the new year
-but then I remembered that no one likes a quitter. clear.

. What is the digital camera’s New Year’s resolution?
-1080p.

What do you call someone who says they know all the words to “Auld Lang Syne?
– A liar.

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