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New Years jokes 🎇 in 2022

What was Dr. Frankenstein’s new year’s resolution?
– To make new friends.

What is corn’s favorite holiday?
-New Ears Eve.

Decimals have a point,
-you know.

Usually my main goal at a New Year’s party is to
-remember who I came with.

What does a jeweler do on Dec. 31?
– Ring in the New Year.

Heartwarming Miami tradition:
– Asking people not to shoot guns into the air on New Year’s Eve.

Why do you need a jeweler on December 31?
-To ring in the New Year.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in.
– A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

If you make a New Year’s resolution to eat a healthy diet
– and you keep it, you won’t actually live longer, but it will seem longer.

What do dogs say on New Year’s Eve?
-Woof.

How did Prince celebrate the new millennium?
-He partied like it was 1999.

Why should you stand on just your left foot during the New Year’s Eve countdown?
– So you start the New Year on the right foot.

Deer readers, my gnu years resolution is to tell you a gazelleon times how much I caribou you! Sorry.
-Bad puns. Alpaca bag and leave.

What was the official snack food of New Year’s Eve?
– Dick Clark Bar.

Wait a second, there’s ANOTHER year?
-I have to do it all over again???

What does the little Champagne bottle call his father?
-Pop!

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up for New Year’s.
– Middle age is when you’re forced to.

Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?
-Waiting on the punchline.

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