New Years jokes ๐ŸŽ‡ in 2021

What do New Yearโ€™s parades have in common with Santa Claus?
-No one is ever awake to see them.

An iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Yearโ€™s Eve.
– One was charged and the other was let off.

May you find the strength to write, “Who is this?
-to all the strange numbers that text you “Happy New Year!” tonight.

What do snowmen like to do on New Yearโ€™s Eve?
-Chill out.

Whatโ€™s the one group that hates New Yearโ€™s Day?
-The New Yearโ€™s Eve clean-up crew.

What food should you avoid on New Yearโ€™s?
– Ifirecrackers

I see no need to make more New Year’s resolutions
– when the ones already on the books aren’t being enforced.

What is the snowmanโ€™s New Yearโ€™s resolution?
– To chill out more.

Hoping this will be the year they drop Ryan Seacrest
– from that building in Times Square.

My New Year’s resolution was to read more,
-so I turned on the subtitles on my TV.

What is a New Yearโ€™s resolution?
-Something that goes in one year and out the other.

My New Yearโ€™s resolution is to get better at pretending to know the words to
-Auld Lang Syne

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