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Bank jokes 🏦💰🏧 in 2023

Where do polar bears go to keep their money safe?
– In snowbanks.

What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
– “I want my quarterback!”

Where do penguins keep their money?
– In snowbanks.

What would a duck say to the cashier after he was done shopping?
– He’d probably say, “Put it all on my bill”.

Why don’t the bees ever want to spend any money?
– It’s because they all are stingy.

My daughter wants to be really scary this Halloween so instead of a costume, she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.

Why did the little old lady put her money in the freezer?
– She wanted cold, hard cash.
I quit my job at the bank today.
I guess you can say I lost interest.
The bank must really like me.
They keep telling me that my loan is outstanding.

I need a new bank account. This one has run out of money.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills? With Tyrannosaurus checks!

Where do fish keep their money?
– In the riverbank.

If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars.

Why was the student eating his dollar bill?
– It’s because his mother told her that it was for lunch.

A woman walks into a bank
– The clerk looks up at her and realizes the woman has a fifty dollar bill stuck up each ear, worried, he goes to his manager. “Oh that’s Miss Henderson” the manager says, “Shes got a hundred dollars in arrears”

I remember being in so much debt that I couldn’t afford my electricity bills, it was a dark time.

What did the man say when his landlord told him that he’d come to talk to him about his high heating bill?
– The man told him, “Sure, my door’s always open.”

Did you hear about an ATM that got addicted to money?
– Heard it was suffering from withdrawals.

Why did the teller lose his job at the bank?
– An old lady asked him to check her balance so he tipped her over.

My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is. I told him, “My door is always open”.

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