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Bank jokes 🏦💰🏧 in 2024

Where do polar bears go to keep their money safe?
– In snowbanks.

Why do I keep paying the bills?
– It just encourages them to send more.

I need a new bank account. This one has run out of money.

What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
– “I want my quarterback!”

Where do penguins keep their money?
– In snowbanks.

What would a duck say to the cashier after he was done shopping?
– He’d probably say, “Put it all on my bill”.

Why don’t the bees ever want to spend any money?
– It’s because they all are stingy.

My daughter wants to be really scary this Halloween so instead of a costume, she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.

Why did the little old lady put her money in the freezer?
– She wanted cold, hard cash.
I quit my job at the bank today.
I guess you can say I lost interest.
The bank must really like me.
They keep telling me that my loan is outstanding.

What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
– This is a stand-up.

I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

Where does Dracula store his money?
– Probably in the blood bank.

I lost my job at the bank on my first day.
– A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My dad always said to me, “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number” so I did.
– Account balance: $9.11.

I am going to qualify for free shipping no matter how much it costs.

Why wasn’t the dead woman living well?
– It’s because she was dead broke.

What comes with a tail and a head but it’s not an animal?
– It’s a penny.

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