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Bank jokes 🏦💰🏧 in 2023

Where do polar bears go to keep their money safe?
– In snowbanks.

I need a new bank account. This one has run out of money.

What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
– “I want my quarterback!”

Where do penguins keep their money?
– In snowbanks.

What would a duck say to the cashier after he was done shopping?
– He’d probably say, “Put it all on my bill”.

My daughter wants to be really scary this Halloween so instead of a costume, she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.

Why did the little old lady put her money in the freezer?
– She wanted cold, hard cash.
I quit my job at the bank today.
I guess you can say I lost interest.
The bank must really like me.
They keep telling me that my loan is outstanding.

I used to have an account with a bank at the North Pole.
– They froze all my assets.

Living on earth may be expensive,
– but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.

Why didn’t the man report it to the police when his credit card got stolen?
– Because the kind thief was spending less than the man.

What did the father do when his son wanted to go to a really expensive math university but didn’t have enough money?
– The father cosined for him.

2 Blondes On Opposite River Banks
– 1 Yelled “How Do I Get To The Other Side”? She Yelled Back “You’r On The Other Side”.

What do fish use for money?
– Sand Dollars.
I went to the bank to apply for a personal loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper. So they didn’t want to Post Malone.

What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak?
– February 14th.

Why do people say that if we want to get rich, we should keep our mouths shut?
– Probably because silence is supposed to be gold.

Why can’t the dog lawyers make much money?
– It’s because they are all pro-bone-O.

A basketball player and a horse jockey just robbed the bank.
– Police are looking high and low for the culprits.

The stock market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they’re smart.

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