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Bank jokes 🏦💰🏧 in 2022

Where do polar bears go to keep their money safe?
– In snowbanks.

I need a new bank account. This one has run out of money.

A basketball player and a horse jockey just robbed the bank.
– Police are looking high and low for the culprits.

The stock market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they’re smart.

What type of money do crabs use?
– Sand dollars!

Why did the robbers take a bath before they were going to steal from the bank?
– Because they wanted to make clean getaway.

A minister, a priest and a rabbit walked into a blood bank.
– The rabbit said I think I am a Type-O

What did the nut say when it held up the bank?
– “Give me all the cashew have!”

Is everything expensive or I’m just broke all the time?

How much money would you be left with if you win $5 million on the lottery and decide to donate a quarter of that to charity?
– You’ll still have $4,999,999.75.

In England, what would you be called if you had to pay money to live inside a toilet?
– You’d probably be called a loo tenant.

A man is told the local bank offers mortgages with no interest
The man enters the bank.

Man: I’m here to find out about the mortgage

Employee: I don’t really care.

What do you call a boy named John who has a lot of money?
– Johnny Cash.

Why do I keep paying the bills?
– It just encourages them to send more.

How can you become rich by eating?
– You should eat fortune cookies.

Why should you invest all your money in yeast?
– Because it has the ability to make your dough rise.

Why did the bank owner buy cows?
– To beef up security.

What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day?
– The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

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