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Halloween jokes 🎃 in 2022

What did the bird say on Halloween?
– Twick or tweet.

Why are all of Superman’s costumes tight?
– They’re all size S.

How do vampires get around on Halloween?
– On blood vessels.

How do you know vampires love baseball?
-They turn into bats every night.

Why are there fences around cemeteries?
– Because people are dying to get in.

What do female ghosts use to do their makeup?
– Vanishing Cream!

What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
-I scream.

Why do ghosts like to hang out at bars?
– Because all of the Boos.

Did you hear about the chopper that crashed in the cemetery?
– Search and rescue workers have recovered 100 bodies and expect that number to climb as digging continues.

What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred?

What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
-A fence.

Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party?
-Because it was grounded.

How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
-A pumpkin patch.

Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation?
-The Dead Sea!

What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist?
– The house was repossessed.

How do vampires start their letters?
-“Tomb it may concern…”

What goes “Ha-ha-ha-ha!” right before a gigantic sounding crash and then keeps laughing?
– A monster laughing it’s head off!

What do you call a dancing ghost?
– Polka-haunt-us.

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