Sleep jokes cover many aspects of sleep, including how much someone sleeps, how little the sleep, what they wear to sleep, and if they sleep walk or talk. All of these aspects can be fodder for jokes, and while most are intended to share affectionately with loved ones, some can be a bit mean.
Why do keyboards never sleep?
– Because they have two shifts.
Fred goes to a doctor.
He says, “Doc, I want to be castrated. ”
Doc says, “Look, I don’t know what kind of cult you’re into or what your motives are, but I’m not going to do that sort of operation. ”
Fred: “Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I’m a littlee mbarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5,000 cash right here. Will you do it? ”
Doc says, “Well, OK, I guess I could make this one exception. I don’t understand it, but OK. ”
He puts Fred to sleep, does the trick, and is waiting at the bedside when Fred wakes up.
“Well, Doc, how’d it go? ” Fred asks.
“It went fine, just fine. It’s really not too difficult of an operation. As a matter of fact, $5,000 is a lot to pay for such a simple task, and I felt a little guilty about taking that much. So, while I was operating, I also noticed that you had never been circumcised, so I went ahead and did that, too. I think, it’s really better for a man to be circumcised, and I hope you don’t mind my… ”
“CIRCUMCISED! ” yells Fred. “THAT’S the word!!! “
What do you call a conference with tired delegates?
– A snooze fest.
What would you do if a dinosaur fell asleep on your bed?
– You go sleep somewhere else!
What is Aaron Hernandez’s favorite bit of a bedsheet?
– The tight end.
What do sheep count when they can’t sleep?
15 sleeps til Christmas…
– 4 if you do meth.
Woman at bar
– A man walks up to an attractive woman sitting at the bar and strikes up a conversation. After a while chatting he asks the woman if she would consider sleeping with him for a million dollars. The woman without missing a beat says absolutely. The man then asks if she would sleep with him for a hundred dollars. The woman is totally offended and slaps the man saying what do you think I am? The man replies we have already established what you are I am just negotiating the price!
What happens when you dream of someone shouting “On your mark…get set…”?
-You wake up with a start!
What happens when you eat a memory foam mattress after a long time?
– You remember that they taste far better than traditional mattresses.
Why can’t a police officer sleep?
– Because when he is in the bed, he is under cover.
What is it that’s doubly tired?
– A bicycle!
Many of the top sleep jokes are sleepwalking jokes. People can do everything from get up and walk around their house to getting fully dressed and ready for the day without fully waking up. Sleepwalking is fairly common in times of stress and worry, but it may be a warning sign of other concerns, and it is necessary to put things in place to protect a sleep walker from getting out of the house or getting hurt.
Short sleep jokes about sleepwalking are most likely to be used by those who have family members who do so, or by sleepwalkers themselves. It can help to share the experience and find others who suffer the same thing, as well as bring people together around it. When someone is worried that it is not normal or that there is something else wrong, one liner sleep jokes about sleepwalking can help to break the tension and to bring relaxation to the conversation. Top sleep jokes may include why people sleepwalk but is most likely to be about the things that they do while they are sleeping. It can be amusing and create silly sleep jokes when they do funny things in their sleep such as get dressed for the day or make the bed in the middle of the night.
Talking in Their Sleep
Talking in the sleep is even more common than sleepwalking, and can take many forms. Some people tell stories, others ask questions, and still others will giggle or laugh in their sleep. Silly sleep jokes about these experiences are fun to share and they may bring about important conversations as well, as perhaps the things they talked about were important to remember. The funniest sleep jokes might be about the things that were overheard from a sleeping friend or family member. Corny sleep jokes about full conversations during sleep are often well received and can be based upon a funs tory to share later.
Pajamas that are worn for sleep are an expression of personality and comfort, and can show a lot about the person who is wearing them. Short sleep jokes about short pajamas, and other pajama jokes are a fun thing to share at sleep overs and pajama parties. These are times when others will see their friends’ pajamas and this can lead to a lot of clean sleep jokes and funny pajama jokes.
The funniest sleep jokes are often related to the comfort of pajamas and their ability to wear them all day. Top sleep jokes point out that sleep wear should be the most comfortable clothing possible and that they should be enjoyable to wear. Some will even have funny sleep jokes and sleep puns
How Long They Sleep Jokes
Everyone needs a different amount of sleep to feel fully refreshed and present their best self the next day. As this amount is so varied between people, some of the best sleep jokes revolve around sharing how much sleep someone needs compared to how much they get, or short sleep jokes about how much their loved one’s sleep compared to themselves. These are ways for people to open the conversation about sleeping and bedtime routines, but also help to learn about themselves and others. It encourages open conversation, discussing needs and wants in a relationship or how to respect boundaries for roommates, helping each other to find the quiet time they need for rest. They are also important in learning about how others address problems sleeping so that people can learn new ways to ensure they get a full night sleep and can feel rested and refreshed each day.
Sleep affects productivity, health, mood, and even memory. It is necessary to get enough sleep to stay healthy and to function properly every day. While it is a serious matter, it is also a fun source for many great jokes that can be shared with friends and family, and can help to bring people together as they each try for their best sleep yet.