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Sleep jokes 💤🛌 in 2023

Why can’t a police officer sleep?
– Because when he is in the bed, he is under cover.

What do you do when you’re tired of hearing someone’s boring herb jokes?
– You tell them that it’s thyme to stop.

How does a lawyer sleep?
– He lies on one side, and then he lies on the other side!

Why is insomnia not a joke?
– Because people are losing sleep over it.

What do you call a dessert made of Graham crackers, marshmallow, and chocolate?
– S’nores.

Why did the little girl take her bicycle to bed with her?
– Because she didn’t want to sleepwalk.

Where do burgers go to sleep?
– On a bed of lettuce.

While she was sleeping, I moved her thongs to the side…
… so in can fit my socks in the same drawer.

What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common?
– You have to be asleep before they can slide down the chimney

What do you call someone who climbs into your bed and asks very specific questions?
– An undercover cop.

Scientists have shown that an uncontrollable urge to start singing the Tokens hit single “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always just a whim away.
– A whim away a whim away…

What do you call a sleepy truck?
– Tired.

What would you call a skeleton that’s very tired?
– A Grim Sleeper.

Do you know what kind of dreams hotels have?
– Suite dreams.

Why should professional rock-climbers take a course in mattress making?
– So that they have something to fall back on.

How will you prove that you are not a light sleeper?
– Go sleep in the dark.

Where do fish sleep?
– In the riverbed

Why did the pharmacist tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
– Because he didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills!

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