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Sleep jokes 💤🛌 in 2024

What is “relative to a short sleep?”
A napkin.
Sorry.

Do you know why mountains are always tired?
– Because they don’t Everest.

What did Papa cow read to the baby cow before going to bed?
– Dairy tales.

Doctor:I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.
Patient:Great, how often do I have to take it ?
Doctor:Every two hours.

What do you call it when you dream in color?
– A pigment of your imagination.

What do you call a mare that sleeps around?
– a whorse

What do you call a music concert with a tired audience?
– Lollapasnooza.

What do you call a woodcutter who fell asleep?
– A slumberjack.

What do you do when you see a bus with 100 lawyers stuck on a bed of quicksand?
– You let that sink in…

Why did the man run around his bed?
– He wanted to catch up on his sleep!

What happens when you sleep on pillows with corduroy cases?
– They make headlines.

A child refusing to sleep
– Is resisting a rest

What can you do to prevent your feet from falling asleep?
– You wear loud socks.

Where do lawyers go to buy a bed?
– A mattress firm.

“Would you sleep with my grandmother for £100,000?” asked my girlfriend.
– I said, “Yes, but I don’t have that sort of money to pay her.”

What do you do when someone is tired and doesn’t know how to nap?
– You give them a crash course.

If a light sleeper sleeps with a light on, does a hard sleeper sleep with a
– window open?

What do you call a giant mammal of the bison family that dwells in the mountains but can’t sleep?
– An insomni-yak.

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