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Marriage jokes ๐Ÿคต๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ‘ฐ in 2022

There are three rings in marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and most importantly the catering.

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, โ€œYou know, Iโ€™ve lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?โ€ โ€œWhy?โ€
– โ€œBecause every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.โ€

I was never really aware of how much blood, sweat and tears went into arranging a wedding.
Hours of discussion, debate and disagreementโ€”and finally he/she asked me to marry him/her.

For those of you who donโ€™t know me, Iโ€™m Matt.
I have been Timโ€™s mate for 2 days now, he found my advert on a website as he hasnโ€™t got many friends so had to hire someone for the day.

When your wife/husband gets a little upset, just remember a simple โ€˜calm downโ€™ in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her/him a lot more upset.

Itโ€™s not so much who wears the pants, but how much money is in the pockets.

The groom is the kind of guy you donโ€™t have to worry about introducing your parents to.
Thatโ€™s why (Bride) didnโ€™t worry about introducing (Groom) to hers until today.

The Groom has informed me that the buffet this evening is charged on a cost-per-head basis.
– So, on his behalf, Iโ€™d like to thank the following people for not comingโ€ฆ

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

Theyโ€™ve been together for so many years, instead of the Wedding March the organist should have played the Hallelujah Chorus.

Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always get the last two words in
: โ€œYes, dear.โ€

At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who donโ€™t.
The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

Iโ€™ve fallen in love with a pencil and weโ€™re getting married.
I canโ€™t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

What makes a good wife?
One who helps her husband with the washing up! And, Whatโ€™s the last thing youโ€™ll say to you wife before going to sleep?
It doesnโ€™t matter what I say, youโ€™ll buy it anyway.

I havenโ€™t spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen monthsโ€ฆ. I donโ€™t like to interrupt her.

Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments of silence in memory of the 3,000 prawns, 200 chickens, countless carnations, delphiniums, lilies and roses who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible.

Do you know why the king of hearts married the Queen of hearts?
– They were perfectly suited for each other.

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