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Marriage jokes ๐Ÿคต๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ‘ฐ in 2024

There are three rings in marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and most importantly the catering.

Being asked to be someoneโ€™s best man is like being called up for jury duty.

My husband cooks for me like Iโ€™m a godโ€”by placing burnt offerings before me every night.

Get a new car for your spouse
โ€“ itโ€™ll be a great trade!

For those of you on the brideโ€™s side who are just getting to know (Groomโ€™s name); here is some advice.
Never let him date a member of your family.

I walked up the aisle and said โ€˜I doโ€™. And Iโ€™ve been doing it ever since.

Husband: โ€œWhy do you keep reading our marriage license?โ€
– Wife: โ€œIโ€™m looking for an expiration date.โ€

Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages.
Need I say more

Now I have a few cards to read out from those who couldnโ€™t make it today:

Two cannonballs got married this morning. I heard they are already expecting BBsโ€ฆ

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

I always wanted to marry Mrs. Right, but I didnโ€™t know her first name was โ€œAlwaysโ€.

Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.

So, what can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now quickly rising to the very top of his profession based solely on intelligence, grit and the willpower to push on where others might fail? A man who is beginning to distinguish himself amongst his peers and where noโ€one can say a bad word against him? Anyway thatโ€™s enough about me. Iโ€™m here to talk about (Groom).

โ€œMarriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings โ€ฆ and lawyers.โ€

You donโ€™t really want to do it but know you have to. Youโ€™re made to dress snappy and pretend to be an upstanding member of the community.
The only difference is I didnโ€™t have a say in the life sentence passed earlier today.

My wife keeps telling everyone that she can read their minds, but she never can. Sheโ€™s telepathetic.

โ€œThe best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps theyโ€™re too old to do it.โ€

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