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Tree Jokes ๐ŸŒฒ in 2021

How do trees access the internet?
-They log on.

Would you ever consider going on the almond tree diet?
-No way, thatโ€™s just nuts!

How old was the tiny tree?
-Near-leaf five.

What do you call an oak tree that canโ€™t make itโ€™s mind up?

What do you call a military tree who doesnโ€™t return on time?
-Absent without leaf.

What is green, has leaves, and a trunk?
-A houseplant going on vacation.

What do you call nice trees without any teeth?

Why canโ€™t Christmas trees sew?
-They always drop their needles

Did you hear about the big corporation thatโ€™s making syrup from supposedly contaminated trees?
– They maple their brand off the shelves.

How did the apple tree get the job?
-It had the right qua-leaf-ications..

Why do trees make the worst frenemies?
-Because they are the best at throwing shade!

Which flowering plant is a champion equestrian?
– The horse chestnut. (It totally conkers the competition.)

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