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Train jokes 🚅 in 2022

How do find out how heavy a whale is?
– By taking it to the whale weigh station

Everyone is in love with the train driver, he is very at-track-tive.

I used to be a railway engineer but I kept losing my train of thought and going down the wrong track.

What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
– One tells you not to chew gum, while the other says “Choo-choo”.

I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.

I was able to pick up a few railway buffers for cheap the other day.
– I took advantage of an end-of-the-line sale.

Always keep an eye on train puns, they can go off the rails without warning.

Knock, knock!
– Who’s there?
– Ivan.
– Ivan who?
– Ivan working on the railway.

I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed.
– He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”

It’s hard to find anyone with more focus than a conductor.
– They have complete tunnel vision.

There’s a guy I know who has been a big fan of monorails since he was little.
– I guess he’s just really into one-liners.

When things look bad you just have to keep calm and carriage on.

Why did the train thief camouflage the railway?
– Because she wanted to cover her tracks.

When our journey was cancelled, all our plans went down the train.

If you spend too much time walking on railroad tracks it might leave you feeling run down.

It’s hard to keep a freight face when the train driver tells funny puns.

A locomotive conductor can only think of one thing at a time.
– They all have one-track minds.

A young man has just told me about a great offer on railway buffers. Apparently, it’s an end of line sale.

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