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Zombie jokes 🧟 in 2022

Where’s the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
– The living room.

Why did the zombie teenager need an eyepatch?
– He kept rolling his eyes and somebody stood on one.

What do zombies have for breakfast?
– Zombie flakes and blood!

Why do you call a zombie who’s good at eating brains?
– Dead-icated!

Got attached by zombies but they didn’t hurt me.
– Fortunately, they were looking for brains.

What’s a zombie’s favourite cheese?
– Zom-brie.

This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
– She said it was yummy.

Why did the zombie have to consult a behavioral therapist?
– Because he couldn’t control his urges to eat brains!

Why won’t zombies enter beauty pageants?
– Because they believe that beauty is only skin deep!

How much does it cost to keep a zombie well fed?
– An arm and a leg.

What crosswords do zombies like?
– Crypt-ic ones.

What did the zombie say after he stole all the brains from the lab?
– Got your knows.

What do you call a zombie who’s eating brains?
– A no brainer!

What do zombies consult to find out their futures?
– Horror-scopes!

What do you get when you cross a baby with a zombie?
– A zom-bae!

Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
– Because of his coffin.

How did the Scottish zombie end up undead?
– He was half kilt

Why was the zombie left-handed?
– Because his right arm dropped off!

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