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Zombie jokes 🧟 in 2024

What do zombies consult to find out their futures?
– Horror-scopes!

Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
– Because of his coffin.

Zombies may appear slightly disordered at times.
– But their food is always mindful.

What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
– The cold shoulder.

What does Mr T say on Halloween?
– I pity the ghoul…

How did the zombie get ready for her dinner date?
– She got dressed up to kill!

What do zombies do on their time off?
– They brainstorm!

Zombie got bitten by a theoretical physicist
– Now he goes around saying: “Branes, branes, branes…”

What streets do zombies live on?
– Dead ends.

What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
– You’ll never take me alive.

I always thought zombies ate popcorn with their fingers,
– but it turns out they eat the fingers separately.

What’s a zombie’s favorite kind of suburb?
– A dead-end or kill-de-sac!

What do you get when you cross a baby with a zombie?
– A zom-bae!

What should you never give a zombie?
– A piece of your mind!

What’s a zombie’s least favourite quiz question?
– A no-brainer.

What part of the military do zombies serve in?
– The marine corpse.

What do you call a bite from a cold zombie?
– A frostbite!

Who accompanied the zombie to the restaurant?
– His ghoul-friend!

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