Sandwich jokes 🥪 in 2024

What is yellow and white and travels at 500 miles per hour?
– A pilot’s egg sandwich.

A sandwich walks into a bar
– and orders a beer. The bartender replies “Sorry. We don’t serve food”.

What do you call a witch that likes to go to the beach?
– A sandwich

TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway
– Whops, wrong sub.

A girl was at the store getting a sandwich and some chips and the guy at the checkout asked “do you want to go for a drink?”
To which she says “I’m flattered but I have a boyfriend”
And the guy replied “No. It’s part of the meal deal”

A man walks up to a counter and says . . .
A man walks up to a counter and says, “Gimme a kielbassi sandwich and a beer.”
“Ah,” says the person behind the counter. “You must be Polish.”
The customer becomes irate. “Now, just a minute,” he says, “I happen to take offense at that! Why are you assuming that just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer I must be Polish?”
“Well-”
“If I ordered a plate of spaghetti, would you assume I’m Italian?”
“Well, no.”
If I ordered corned beef and cabbage, would you assume I’m Irish?”
“No.”
“Then why,” said the customer, “are you assuming I’m Polish just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer?”
“Well . . . this is a hardware store.”

A biker walks into a bar…
…and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.
He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:
Hamburger – 2.99
Cheeseburger – 3.99
Chicken Sandwich – 4.99
Hand Jobs – 19.99
The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” The bartender blushes slightly and says “Yes, I am” with a sexy little smile. The biker grins and says “Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger.”

Sandwiches
– The Earl of Sandwich: Take a look at my new invention!
The Duke of Openface: Seems like an awful lot of bread.

A construction contractor buys a 10 foot Italian submarine sandwich to feed his crew
It gets delivered a little early, so he sets it out on a table and goes back to finish up the morning’s work. By the time him and his crew get back to it, though, there’s something wrong. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot sandwich.
He turns to his crew and asks if anyone snuck in to eat the sandwich. One by one, they all shake their heads and deny any wrongdoing. He’s at a loss until one of his guys points out that the company had hired an electrician to do a bit of wiring that morning.
“Of course!” the boss exclaims, “he’s the subcontractor!”

How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
– He forgot to wrap his whopper.

Did you hear about the chemist who died of lead poisoning?
– He tried to make himself a Pb&J sandwich

(This is a popular joke where I’m from). A boy boards a bus with a sandwich in his hand.
The bus driver says: ” hey, this ain’t a restaurant, kid!”
The boy replies: “I know. That’s why I brought my own food.”

What do you call someone from Alabama stuck in a sandwich?
– Inbread.

What’s better than a tuna sandwich?
– A three-na sandwich

I completed my toasted sandwich sticker album earlier today. It’s by Panini.

How do you confuse a feminist
– Tell her you won’t let her make a sandwich for you because she is female

Did ya’ll hear about the guy from India whose sandwich shop burnt down!?
– He’ll be alright. He got a loan to open a New Delhi.

if you were sandwiched between your parents, and you were an inch deep in your mom, and your dad was an inch deep in you, would you move forward or backward to get out?
interviewer: we meant questions about the job