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Carrot jokes 🥕 in 2023

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
– “Do you smell carrots?”

Why did the carrot get an award?
– Because he was out standing in his field

Loose women
3 women are sitting at a bar conversing over lady stuff.
Eventually the first woman says, “I’m so loose I can fit an entire carrot up there..”
The second woman chimes in and says, “yes, well I’m so loose I can fit an entire baseball bat up there..”
– The Third woman slides down the bar stool

A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
– The doctor said, “I can tell right away that you haven’t been eating properly.”

What does the Carrot priest say at church?
– “Lettuce Pray”

What was the snowman doing in the carrot section of the grocery store?
– Picking his nose

Did you hear about the carrot detective?
– He got to the root of every case.

A man goes to the doctor with a carrot up his nose.
He has a stalk of celery in the other nostril and peas in his ears. He says to the doctor, “Doc, I’m not feeling well.”
– The doctor says, “Well, you’re not eating right.”

You know Murphy’s Law. It’s “If something can go wrong, it will”, but do you know Cole’s law? It’s…
– shredded cabbage, mayonnaise, maybe some carrot.

The amount of cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrots divided by the volume of the mayo.
– That’s Cole’s Law.

Which vegetable betrayed Jesus?
– Judas Is-carrot

In the vegetable and fruit aisle
Me: Hi, are these carrots genetically modified?
Clerk: No, why do you ask?
– Carrot: Yeah, why do you ask?

Since pirates are on the water all the time, meat is scare and some are actually vegetarians.
– They are called Pirates of the Carrot Bean.

What is invisible and smells like Carrots?
– Bunny Farts!

how do you catch a rabbit?
– Hide behind a bush and make a noise like a carrot.

How can you make a soup rich?
– Add 14 carrots (carats) to it.

Cucumber, carrot, banana – none of them used for scale
A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
“What’s the matter with me Doc?” he asks.
– The doctor replies, “You’re not eating properly!”

How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
– Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses

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