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Carrot jokes 🥕 in 2023

You need to stop talking to me about vegetables.
– I just don’t carrot all.

Why did the Ukrainian turn his carrot around?
– He wanted to start the orange revolution!

My friend made a flute out of a carrot…
It was impressive, and if you gave her some sheet music, she would show you just how well it played.
– My other friend, who’s a bit competitive, made an oboe out of corn. He said he could play anything by ear.

What do you call a carrot that talks back to you?
– A fresh vegetable.

How do you catch a rabbit?
– You hide in a field and make carrot noises.

Why don’t snowmen like carrot cake?
– Because they think it tastes like boogers!

How do you lead a horse to water?
– With carrots

A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office
A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear and he says,
“I don’t know what’s the matter with me lately”
– The psychiatrist says, “You’re not eating properly.”

Carrots may be good for your eyes…
– But whiskey will double your vision

What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
– It’s been nice gnawing you.

I caught my sister masturbating with a carrot
I was annoyed because I was gonna eat that later…
– And now it’s gonna taste like carrot….

“For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” – Newton’s Law
“Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad.” – Cole’s Law

A bully, a baby, and a carrot walk into a bar.
– The bartender says, “What’ll you have, Mr. Boehner?”

What do you call a tomato that self-identifies as a carrot?
– A transplant.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
– A carrot.

What vegetable are all others afraid of?
– a scarrot.

I was going to tell some rabbit jokes
– But people tend not to carrot all about them.

I called the police to remove some carrots from my fridge…
– They were disturbing the peas.

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