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Forehead jokes in 2022
A poor cowboy needs a horse.
He buys the only horse he could afford, one that has its commands messed up.
“He’ll go when you say ‘whoa!’ and stop when you say ‘giddy up!'” instructs the seller.
The cowboy sets off riding the horse, feeling silly for saying ‘whoa’. As he rides further, he sees an upcoming cliff. He commands the horse to stop by saying ‘whoa’ but the horse only picks up speed.
Panicking, the cowboy scream “WHOA!” but the horse only goes into a full gallop. Then the cowboy remembers and tries saying “giddy up!”
The horse comes to a complete stop mere inches from the edge of the cliff.
The cowboy brushes the sweat from his forehead ans says “Whoa that was close.”
The horse, possessing survival instincts, knew better than to run off a cliff and the cowboy did not face any repercussions for his poor choice of words.
A man with a frog growing on his forehead visits the doctor.
A man with a frog growing out of his forehead visits the doctor. Doctor stares at him. “My God. I’ve never seen anything like it. How did that start?”
The frog replies: “Well actually it just started with a small boil in my ass”.
Patient: “Doc, it hurts when I touch here (taps forehead), here (taps nose), here (taps chin), pretty much everywhere.”
Doctor: “You have a broken finger.”
Yo mama so fat,
– When she stubs her toe, her forehead ripples.
Don’t worry, the forehead jokes are receding just like your hairline.
Why are there so many Italian guys named “Tony”?
– Because when they were loaded onto a ship from Italy, they stamped their foreheads with “To: NY”
One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.Lo and behold, that horse – a very long shot – won the race.
Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the old priest step onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.
Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race.
The priest again blessed a horse. Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated.. As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.
By and by, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true.He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest’s blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.
True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the dayMitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag.
Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last.
Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.
Confronting the old priest he demanded, ‘Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I’ve lost every cent of my savings — all of it!’.
The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. ‘Son,’ he said, ‘that’s the problem with you Protestants, you can’t tell the difference between a simple blessing and the last rites.
A cowboy buys a horse from the town pastor.
“To make the horse go, you gotta yell, Thank God! And to make it stop, yell, Hallelujah,” explains the pastor.
The cowboy thanks him and rides off. He rides all day and starts to nod off in the saddle when he notices he is about to ride straight over a cliff.
Quickly he yells to the horse, “Hallelujah! Hallelujah!” The horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the cliff.
The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead, sighs and says, *”Phew, Thank God.”*
What do you call a guy from Illinois with rips in his jeans, shoes, and a hole in his shirt and forehead?
– An ambulance
BREAKING: North Korea announces breakthrough 100% effective COVID-19 treatment
– Sources report the new treatment involves injecting a bullet into the forehead of people infected with the virus.
I bumped into Thanos and laughed really hard at the size of his chin and forehead.
– He snapped.
– Two women are shopping and talking about their husbands. One says, “My husband said he was getting impatient with my mood swings, so he bought me a mood ring the other day to monitor my moods.” “How’d that work out?” asked the second woman. “Well,” said the first, “When I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big, flipping red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond.”