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Chevy jokes in 2022

Have you seen the new speed limit signs? They say “Speed limit 65,
– Chevys-do the best you can”.

According to a new poll, 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
– The other 9 percent own a Chevrolet.

Never buy a second electric car from Chevy.
– It’s revolting.

I just replaced a bunch of parts on my Chevy muscle car and made it a Pontiac muscle car.
– Now it’s a trans Trans-Am.

Why are the new GM trucks more aerodynamic?
– So they will save the Fords gas when the Ford tows them away.

Chevy runs deep, but it takes a Dodge to pull it out.

Last night, my Chevy was bitten by a vampire.
– Now it’s Vlad the Impala.

Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
– So Chevy owners have a safe place to walk home.

I drove to Vegas in a $25,000 Chevy and came home in a $250,000 vehicle
– A greyhound bus.

What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy’s owners manual?
– The bus schedule.

Why did GM put heaters in the tailgates of their new trucks?
– To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the

New Feature exclusive to 2015/16 Chevy Trucks
– Magnetic Bumber; recover the parts as they fall off.

The last girl I dated was like a loan on the All-New 2020 Silverado during Chevy Truck Month
– She made herself available for a limited time only, then had 0% interest for 12 months.

What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill?
– A miracle?

Last night, my Chevy was bitten by a vampire.
– Now it’s Vlad the Impala.

A Chevy Silverado, a GMC Sierra, a Ford F150, a RAM 1500, and a Toyota Tacoma are driving in convoy
– Best pickup line ever

What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said, “I’ll take a set of wiper blades for my Chevy”?
– Sounds like a fair trade.

Tom Brady originally offered that Chevy Colorado to Pete Carroll…
…however, Carroll said “I’ll pass.”

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