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Bone jokes 🦴💀 in 2022

What do you call a monk who walks everywhere in bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?
– A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
– No body.

Got offered a job today worth $80,000 with benefits working for the Brittle Bone Society.
– Nearly snapped his hand off.

Did you know that a piranha can devour a human child to the bone in 30 seconds?
– Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium today.

Give a dog a bone and you feed him for a day
– Teach a dog to bone and you go to jail for animal cruelty

How much does 2,000lbs of bone weigh
– a skeleton

What do you call a skeleton who won’t work?
– Lazy bones.

There are 27 bones in the human hand…
– and 28 when I’m lonely.

I got really mad when a friend made a joke about hitting his funny bone…
– Somehow, he just really struck a nerve.

There’s no such thing as the funny bone…
– But I heard the upper arm is quite humerus.

Why are bones so calm?
– Nothing gets under their skin!

What kind of plate do skeletons eat on?
– Bone china.

Why is the elbow called the funny bone?
– Becuase it’s connected to the humerus

What do you need for a movie about broken bones?
– An awesome cast

Two teenagers snuck into a crypt at night. One tripped over a small bone and the other unashamedly laughed.
– Can’t blame him though, it was a little humerus.

If you boil the funny bone, it’ll become a laughing stock
….. Now that’s what i call humerus

Why did the skeleton cross the road?
– To get to the body shop.

How is a prisoner the same as a guy who decides to bone his best friend?
– They’re both in mates.

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