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Atom jokes ⚛ in 2023

what do you get if you eat a bomb?
– Atomic ache.

Scientists Have Captured the Sound One Atom Makes and what did the atom say?
– “Does it really matter we make up everything.”

What did the atom say when it kept losing electrons?
– I really need to keep an ion them.

Two atoms walk into a bar.
The first one turns to the other and says “I think I’ve lost an electron!”

The second one goes “Are you sure?”

To which the first one replies “I’m positive.”

Why are atoms selfish?
– Because they’re all that matter!

…Courtesy of my witty wife after my 11 year old asked the “Why should you never trust atoms? – because they make up everything” joke.

I thought surely the joke already existed, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. Doesn’t entirely work, but it got a laugh out of me!

The Atom and the Cation
The Atom says to the Cation, “who’s in charge around here?”

Cation: “I am!”

Atom: “Are you sure?”

Cation: “I’m positive!”

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

What kind of fish is made up of only two sodium atoms?
– 2Na.

An atom walks into a bar…
and orders a drink. The barman makes the drink and hands it over. The atom just sits there and sighs. “Why so down?” the barman asks. “Iv’e lost an electron.” the atom answers. “Are you sure?” the barman asks. “I’m positive.”

I told a dark joke to an atom today, but it didn’t really find it funny.
– Turns out it was no laughing matter.

What did the oxygen atom say to the two hydrogen atoms?
– Man! This threesome is getting me wet!

An atom lost an electron
It should really keep an ion them

Even after repeated search attempts, the atom couldn’t find its lost electron…
Yet, on the brighter side, it remained positive.

Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.
– HeHe.

Did you hear about the atom that was caught stealing electrons?
He was arrested and charged.

…this is the stuff I come up with while procrastinating studying for finals.

What do you call a nitrogen atom having a 5-way orgy with 4 other hydrogen atoms?
– Ammoooaaanium

Two atoms sitting in a bar..
One says I lost an electron. The other asks are you sure ?

Yeah I’m positive

What is it called when the electrons of one atom are transferred to another?
– Ionestly don’t know the answer.

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