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Atom jokes ⚛ in 2022

what do you get if you eat a bomb?
– Atomic ache.

How did one gold atom greet the other gold atom?
– ‘ey you.

What did the chemist say to his gf when they broke up?
– If you were an atom you would have 67 protons

An Atom walks into a drinking establishment
He sits down and orders a drink and then all of a sudden he starts crying. The bartender walks over and asks : “is everything okay?”
To which the Atom replies: ” I lost an electron..”. “Are you sure you lost it?” the bartender asks concerned. To which the atom replies:” I am fairly positive “

I was ridiculed by some miscreants at the Halloween party for my Helium atom costume,..
… but I was too noble to react to such petty volatile elements.

Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.

39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom.
– Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though.

If I had an atom bomb for every gender…
I’d force Japan to surrender

A Hydrogen atom walks into a bar…
…and asks for a shot.
Bartender, “what’s the occasion?”
Atom, “I think I lost an electron.”
Bartender, “you sure?”
Atom, “I’m positive.”

Why are atoms bad story tellers?
– Even though they are great at making things up, they always ending up Bohring me to death

TIL there are exactly Avacado’s Number of atoms in a guacamole.

two atoms are talking..
“Hey Bob, why the long face?”
“I’ve just lost an electron.”
“What, are you sure?”
“Yes….. I’m positive.”

What do atoms and black lives have in common?
– They matter

Two atoms come back after fishin’
– But they don’t come back after fusion.

What do two atoms argue in the hadron collider?
– Higg no rants

So there’s this atom that keeps stealing electrons…
– You better keep an ion him.

Never trust an atom
– They make up stuff.

Two atoms were walking down the street when they collided.
The first one exclaims, “I’ve lost an electron!”

The second one asks, “Are you sure?”

The first one replies, “I’m positive!”

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