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Atom jokes ⚛ in 2024

what do you get if you eat a bomb?
– Atomic ache.

What did the atom say when it kept losing electrons?
– I really need to keep an ion them.

Why are atoms selfish?
– Because they’re all that matter!

…Courtesy of my witty wife after my 11 year old asked the “Why should you never trust atoms? – because they make up everything” joke.

I thought surely the joke already existed, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. Doesn’t entirely work, but it got a laugh out of me!

An atom walks into a bar…
and orders a drink. The barman makes the drink and hands it over. The atom just sits there and sighs. “Why so down?” the barman asks. “Iv’e lost an electron.” the atom answers. “Are you sure?” the barman asks. “I’m positive.”

Scientists Have Captured the Sound One Atom Makes and what did the atom say?
– “Does it really matter we make up everything.”

Two atoms walk into a bar.
The first one turns to the other and says “I think I’ve lost an electron!”

The second one goes “Are you sure?”

To which the first one replies “I’m positive.”

The Atom and the Cation
The Atom says to the Cation, “who’s in charge around here?”

Cation: “I am!”

Atom: “Are you sure?”

Cation: “I’m positive!”

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

What kind of fish is made up of only two sodium atoms?
– 2Na.

How do we know that atoms are Catholic?
– Because they have mass.

An atom asks another atom,
Do these protons make my mass look big?

39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom
– Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though

An atom is walking down the street…
An atom is walking down the street when he meets a friend of his, who is evidently distraught. “What’s the matter…is everything OK?” the atom asks his friend. “Well, I think I might have lost an electron,” responds the other atom. “Are you sure?” asks the first. “I’m positive!” replies his friend.

Everyone thinks Kim Jong Un wants to build an atom bomb…
…when he just wants to build a new clear-bomb.

A chemistry student turns to his professor and excitedly exclaims, “Sir this mountain has exactly 6.022×10^23 atoms in it!”

Why was the atom laughing?
Because part tickles.

Two atoms are talking and one says “I think I lost an electron.”
– The other atom says “Are you sure?” The first atom replys “Yes, I’m positive!”

An atom walks to a bar
He tells the bartender he lost an electron.
The bartender says, “Are you positive?”

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