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Egg Jokes ๐Ÿฅš๐Ÿณ in 2021

My dad only eats Eggs Benedict at Christmas, and only when we visit Grandma and Grandpa.
– He says there’s no place like home for the hollandaise.

Why is it no fun being an egg?
– You only get laid once, you only get smashed once and the only bird who sits on your face is your mother.

How do you teach someone to make an omelette?
– Show them an eggsample

How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?
– He bought it on sail.

How do you keep an egg from breaking when throwing it at a wall?
– Leave it inside the chicken.

I just dropped all of my eggs…
– Oeuf

What do you call it when all the hens in the coup resign the same day from their jobs laying eggs?
-Chicken tenders.

Nothing beats fresh, local, eggs!
-Except for whisks.

I try so hard not to upset my vegan girlfriend that I am constantly walking on eggshells.
– She doesnโ€™t approve of that either.

The pepper on my eggs smelled like deodorant,
– it really was Old Spice.

What do you call a treacherous egg?
-Perfidious albumin

My girlfriend broke up with me this morning over a broken egg
-She said Omelette you go

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